Post by Konrad Raab on Jun 8, 2012 22:37:29 GMT
Losing confidence in himself. London England. Wednesday 5th June.
Stefan was clearly losing more and more confidence in himself to even be able to hang around in the wrestling business as he feels that he couldn't cut it around wrestling and heck he pretty doubts himself if he could even win the match against Adree Perez because he was losing so much as of late and that's not all. He even is losing confidence on being brave on facing Angelica Monroe in 2 weeks time in a different company. He felt he was done and was really annoyed with himself that he couldn't win one match in wrestling.
He was in London losing his mind that he got arrested for being drunk and destroying Angelica's property because the voices told him to lose his temper and his drinking was more out of control than ever and he needed to find his form in the ring fast and quickly because he knows that he is quite close on getting fired if he carries on the way he is. He was facing a female wrestler this week that might make things a little easier on him and that she hasn't had a match in XWE as of yet either. He was feeling very weak since he had been in a cell for two days and he hasn't ate, drank or sleep for days cos of being worried about if he loses Fizz being with him and the chance to be a father to his baby.
He had to do everything it takes to get a win in wrestling no matter what happens because he hated the fact that he was on a losing streak and he needed to turn things around as fast as he can because it was affecting him big time and heck that was another reason why he was drinking more because he was losing matches and he had no idea why apart from the lack of experience he has but he was gaining them before the Angelica match comes around in two weeks time.
His voice has completely changed since he had started drinking as he didn't have that normal voice that he had with his shows and everything he had going on. He had a real deep monster voice that he was trying to find out for himself why his voice suddenly changed. Maybe it had something to do with the drinking problem he had along with his anger issues that he needed to deal with or maybe it was due to the lack of training he was doing but he had been training quite a bit but he might need to push that bit harder.
This week's match was do or die for him as he did feel that he was getting stronger each time he was wrestling or working out in the gym like he has been as of late just these last two days had almost killed him as there was someone out there that kept his faith up. Fizz and his baby that was on the way. He left London with his confidence low and flew straight to Brazil for intense training that he needed to do to boost his confidence up again.
Sitting on the mountain. Hollywood, California. Sunday 10th June.
Stefan had a lot to think about with his wrestling career mostly as he had a lot of free time on his hands now since his TV Total and the other shows he does were over for the summer as it was perfect that he knew what he was going to do during the summer rather than sitting in his house doing nothing. He was going to improve on his wrestling and he needed to as he hears about this Adree Perez girl.
Stefan has heard a lot about her as he remembers on how much hatred she has for Angelica on trying to take Cody away from her and of course he would be up to fight against Angelica for that because to him Adree didn't seem that much of a bad person and she was someone that Stefan could respect but he was in the ring with her this week there was no room for respecting any wrestler especially the mood he was in with the losses he had as of late. Stefan crouches down and begins to speak.
Stefan Raab: It's the first time that I actually say this to any wrestler but I actually like you Adree as a wrestler because we both have something in common and that's the fact that we both hate Angelica Monroe. I found it funny that you went to go and took the piss out of her like you did. She is a joke and she really just cannot wrestle. There's a downside though and that's we are facing each other in a match this week.
Stefan just could get along with Adree as he liked anyone that was dissing on her only that for her it was all the past and it was buried in the hatchet as the saying goes as he of course was ashamed that had to come to an end as she hasn't really said anything to Angelica ever since the time she tried to take Cody away from Adree and of course he was against all of that in a relationships and he felt that Cody could do more than just sleeping with other girls that he has but since Stefan first met Cody. He had matured like a man that he was and he actually was trying to help Stefan overcome his drinking problem as well.
So he had nothing against Cody at all but he had to face a girl that he knew that he quite a lot of wrestling experience underneath her as he of course was still drinking alcohol that wasn't going to stop him from doing so because he hated himself more than anything right now and he didn't know what the fuck he was doing to himself only that he felt something in his pocket and keeps forgetting that he actually loved someone. Fizz and his soon to be child. He looked at the picture quickly and then put it back in his pocket and continues to speak.
Stefan Raab: I haven't really seen you in matches before so this should be exciting and another thing is that I haven't wrestled against any female wrestlers either but because you are a woman sadly I am going to have to teach you an example because you see. Female wrestlers are not that high on my list at all at the moment.
It was the perfect chance to see how much different it was to facing male wrestlers in the ring as it would give him a bit of experience on facing female wrestlers in the ring as he finished drinking his beer and then opened another one to take a bit more of a sip of it as he continued to speak.
Stefan Raab: I know that you think that I don't deserve to be here and I shouldn't be wrestling just like everyone fucking else says but this week it's going to be a complete turn around because I am determined to get that monkey off my back and getting my first ever win in wrestling something I really need to achieve right now. Ever since the Vantage match my first wrestling match I had. I have been on a losing streak and that has made me hungry to want to get that win.
He wasn't really getting any respect from anyone as of late as he had burned Angelica's clothes at Legacy and he doesn't regret on doing that and the fact that he didn't regret on getting arrested. In fact he was quite proud of what he did as of late the only thing he did kind of regret was burning the American flag but that was about it out of all the bad things he had done that was about the one he regretted the most but he done it because he was sick and tired of how much Americans hated him and just the disrespect he got from them that was why he burned it.
Stefan Raab: I know what you thinking that I don't think you liked the idea of me burning the American flag down but I had to do what I had to do because I was angry and I don't even remember doing that since I was so drunk until Fizz reminded me that I did it and until I watched the video. I was disgusted that I did that and I regretted it but the end of the day I was showing these Americans and especially Angelica that I wasn't going to stand for it any longer.
Stefan paused and figured out that he hasn't talked that much about his opponent but he didn't know that much about her mainly because she hadn't had a match in XWE as of yet but hears that she is a very good wrestler with talent asides from Fizz of course that she did have the guts to take someone twice her size in a match as he finished his beer and now thinks about to stop drinking because he would go way over the top like he has done as of late that wasn't doing him any good. He then put his head down on his arms and begins to speak more in the monster voice he had got from drinking alcohol a lot.
Stefan Raab: Back to wrestling side of things. Yeah I may respect you as a wrestler and respect about the things you said to Angelica but as a person though kind of have my doubts on that since you do like to be with Cody a lot and he does like to sleep with other women but I am not going to go there because I respect on what he has done for the wrestling business so far and he's doing a pretty good job at that but you seem to be wanting to follow in his shadow doing all the MMA shit that Cody always does.
Stefan really didn't understand why there was so many people doing the MMA stuff as he didn't really find that interesting and he actually found it really boring to watch just like Brutus does. Why was there so many people that had the MMA background but hardly anyone asides from Brutus and Shad that had wrestling backgrounds. He of course didn't want to become an MMA fighter either unless he really had to fight but it was only if a certain MMA fighter that really would get under Stefan's skin that he would be doing an MMA fight but that was the only time he would.
Stefan Raab: You are in my way on capturing my first win in XWE and I need to do it this week just because you hate one of my opponents I am facing soon that doesn't mean that I am going to go easy on you not even close because I am angry more than ever now and it's time to outleash the German anger that I need to let out in the ring and sadly that's all going to be all out on you tomorrow night because I need this win to prove to everyone that I am an official wrestler and sooner rather than later people will realize that they need to take me more seriously.
Stefan had a few more things to say as he removed his head from his arms and looked up at the moon as he thought a lot about the future on what it holds for him and even he admits the whole Jack Mercer thing had got into his head a bit as he has a feeling that he will do something during the match and it didn't help that Stefan hears about the other two girls that were with Adree that ended up to be his best friend's opponents of Brutus Magnus as clearly they wanted Stefan to continue losing because even XWE were going to hate him and he has to overcome that.
Stefan wasn't feeling well at all as he's had real bad depression with things lately on the whole being fired thing not only for his actions but for his wrestling as well and he was trying so hard to overcome the losses and it wasn't working for him and he had no idea why that was happening. Suddenly just when he thought the voices weren't going to hunt him tonight. He hears them saying this.
Weak German man that you are Stefan. When are you going to get hold of yourself and get some fucking wins in your career? Come on you are apart of the wrestling business and you can't get hold of yourself. What about your fiancee Stefan? Where is she? Has she given up on you or has she left you or does she realize that she doesn't want to be with you because you are a loser.
Stefan got really mad as the voices said something about Fizz that really got him big time as he gets up from the mountain and sees a house that no one currently lives in as he actually put things in the house to set things up and he had brought his electronic lighter with him and then sets the house on fire before having an evil laugh before running away and sitting back on the mountain looking at the moon and begins to speak crouching down again.
Stefan Raab: This is the time for me to rise once again on being the wrestler I know I can be and there is no one stopping me from achieving what I can do in the ring. I know you got your friends of Sophie and Paige in your corner but that's if they don't get beaten up badly by Brutus first but I tell you if one of you girls lay a hand on me you won't be getting up because I am in no mood for female wrestlers to fuck my match up and same goes to you too as well Jack because you had caused me hell these last few weeks making me lose matches.
Stefan's temper had gone beyond the boiling point now as he wanted to cause trouble but remembers about Fizz and his unborn child that was on the way as again he stopped looking at the moon and looked at the picture of Fizz reminding him that she was the reason why that he wasn't in jail for longer days as he should've been just that picture alone calmed him down a lot and thinks of the positives in this situation that actually he was wrestling for her rather than for himself and he didn't want anymore to drink because of Fizz and he had to think a lot about her since she was the only one that was making him survive in the business.
Stefan Raab: I had enough of being screwed by you Jack. You are going to pay for what you have caused me these last few weeks payback is a bitch. Sick of you getting in my way. I am not going to talk about you anymore because I am not facing you as of yet but I want to badly. Adree is my opponent and be sure that I am going to beat her down for the three count just like I had planned to the last couple of weeks so Jack, Sophie and Paige you better not screw things up for me or your hell will start on you three although it has already with you Jack you son of a bitch. Adree you better Fear The Killerplauze because Your Gonna Get Raabinated.
Stefan was done talking about the match as for once the voices had done while he was talking about the match because he didn't feel like causing trouble at all because he had to think about his fiancee and the baby more and he thought a lot about them as well as his own wrestling career as he got up from the mountain and went down back to his car to drive back to Anaheim, California where Fizz lived and where she was waiting for him to come home so he could spend time with her and the baby as well that was growing in her tummy.