Asylum Battle Royal

[Konrad Raab]

Playing ice soccer. Anaheim, California. Monday 14th January.

Stefan thought of an idea that he done a few years ago, that he played ice soccer back in Germany, back in two thousand and nine in Cologne, and Elton fancied to play the game as well. It was the same rules as it was with normal soccer, but the difference is that it was on ice.

They had to wear almost the same gear, as the ice hockey players, but the difference was that they had to wear bowling shoes. They were at the Anaheim Ducks stadium, getting ready to play against each other, with the referee going on the pitch as well. They were in the locker rooms getting changed, while Stefan starts to talk to Elton.

Stefan Raab: "It's been a while since we last played ice soccer isn't it Elton?"

Elton: "I believe it has been a while since two thousand and nine I think it was?"

Stefan Raab: "You are right there. There is a reason why we are calling it ice soccer, and that's because the stupid Americans call the sport soccer, since they have their own American, football sport here."

Elton: "That's interesting. I was going to ask you that question on why you called it soccer and not football. Sounds like the Americans are stupid to call it soccer. So who are you against in wrestling on Sunday?"

Stefan Raab: "Except for Anthony Bailey. A bunch of retards of people like Aubrey J Parker, Jair Hopkins and Slade Craven."

Elton: "So you got to face Slade again?"

Stefan Raab: "Sadly yes and its bad enough, I have to see his face four times, in a row as well. Makes me sick that ever since I came back from my suspension, all I been doing is facing and teaming with, and against Slade Craven. It's like his name is on my fucking dick that, I just can't get off."

Elton: "Jesus Christ. These matches that you keep being booked in are very uncreative, since you got back I agree with you there. It's no wonder why you hate President Jeff a lot. Let's get out to the pitch and play ice soccer."

Stefan and Elton were ready to go as they left the locker room, as you can see that Elton was wearing, a red jersey and red shorts while Stefan was wearing, a blue jersey and blue shorts as they get set to play, ice soccer with a yellow soccer ball ,sitting right in the centre of the ice. They went to their goal posts, getting ready to run towards the ball, as the referee blew his whistle for the game, to begin along with Stefan talking about the match.

"So I have to represent APW for one night, in this stupid battle royal? I guess I have to put up with it, seeing how pathetic the company has become lately, especially on how I been booked recently. It's a disgrace that I can't seem, to get Slade fucking Craven off my ass, with Jeff ignoring me as hell about the match I want with him, and the fact I wanted TJ in a singles match. You're an ignorant bastard, that enjoys to avoid me, because you are afraid of me. Come out and admit it Jeff on you being scared of me which you are aren't you? I move on to other people now, since you aren't worth my time for now."

"Look at this. I got to face three retards of Aubrey J Parker, Slade Craven, Jair Hopkins and someone who is the only decent, wrestler in this match Anthony Bailey. All right fine like I got nothing else, better to do other than on taking part, of this crap battle royal I got to take part in, before Survive and Conquer Pay Per View to come around, although I wanted Rasslemania Pay Per View, to come before this silly joke royal rumble, match that we are all in as well as Johnny Knuckles and Keaton Saint."

"I think I should start with someone I can't get, all too nasty about on Anthony Bailey. So you got the tag team belts with Jair Hopkins at Christmas Chaos? I got to congratulate you on that, and winning the heavyweight title over Jason Kash at Shockwave ,but there is one problem I feel personally, that you can work on and that is, that you need to, stand up for yourself more. Speak and admit your views, on people and get angry more often, because you will feel better, that way than being nice and innocent with people. Do I admit that I see you as a threat, to me in this match? Yes I do because you are a talented, wrestler that never gives up trying your, best to become one of the, most well-known wrestlers in APW."

"You never pissed me off one time, and like I said on twitter. I prefer if things stay that way, because trust me nobody wants to get on my bad side, which is really unlucky for the other three idiots, that are in this match. I expect me and you, on being the last ones left in the ring because, I feel like I have nothing against you at all."

Stefan was already losing by one goal, as Elton kicked the ball into the goal. That made Raab angry especially when he's got Aubrey J Parker, next on his list but he was having lots of fun, with Elton on playing soccer on the ice, and they both have fallen over more than once. Stefan had a microphone attached to him, in his helmet so people can hear him talk.

"Now this is a girl who is clearly pissing me off with the, handed title shots that she has, been given what two times now Aubrey? Ever since you came to Asylum, you been given a free, way ticket to title shots. I been on this fucking brand since August, and I never had one title shot, to my name on Asylum and yet, you are proud of winning against Jason Kash, over a handed title shot along with, Shane Borderland helping you to win the title? You are such a loser on being proud, of achieving something like that. What about actually earning, your shots for titles and working hard towards, them than having these chances, handed to you on a plate?"

"Also you are nothing more than a coöperate ass kisser, seeing how much Jeff and Reggie fucking love you. Well I don't and it's sickening that you, are the suicidal champion now. You have no talent at all, and not even close to being a threat to me."

"I think Logan Alexander is the one that should be on Asylum, rather than you because he's a true champion, and a one that did earn his North American title shot, and how carries your ass most of the tag matches, that you both have been in. First chance I get I aim to throw you, out of the ring before anybody else in the match."

Stefan then had two more people to talk about, with the Battle Royal match with Jair Hopkins and Slade Craven, to which he knows all about, since he has wrestled against both in the past. Stefan was finally getting focused, and he scored a goal after Elton fell down on the ice, kicking the ball in the net.

Stefan Raab: "HAHA Elton. That's how you play this game you son of a bitch."

Elton: "Oh stop being arrogant as hell and continue with this game, as its nowhere near over yet."

Stefan was celebrating his goal with his arms up in the air, like people were cheering for him, although a few people were in the stands but no cheers, for him at all as they know exactly what Stefan was like, in wrestling at the moment as he was doing, a lot of things that were breaking, the rules of wrestling and even, the law as of late as well which Stefan, didn't care about at all as he certainly was, making his trademark "The Most Hated Man In APW" more known, then it had already been in the past.

Now Stefan was falling over a lot as well as Elton, but they got back on their feet and tried to kick, the ball and both nearly knocked, the referee down to the ice as they were, useless at this ice soccer game that they, were playing but Stefan continued to speak.

"Ah there is someone who I have, had a lot of history with, in the match as well as Aubrey on Meltdown, known as Jair Hopkins. You are pathetic on how, I remember you saying that you wanted, to block me just because you couldn't, handle the insults I gave you on twitter. You are just a fucking little bitch that can't, handle my shit talking. Well what am I saying with you coming, from a broken home and having only, three friends in your life makes you irrelevant. I do have to brag about me beating you in the, past since it happened in a fatal, four-way match that was for the chance, to get an North American title shot, which you fucked up but you are good, on screwing things up like that."

"You also failed to beat Jason Kash for the suicidal, title as well which says a lot for your stupid wrestling career, now although you have the tag team, titles but that is because of Anthony Bailey, who is far better than you, and has done more in his career as well. I can see this Dying Breed team being useless, since Anthony Bailey and dear I say it D Williams will, be carrying your weak ass throughout, the entire time the team stays alive."

"You are nothing frog hopper and I think you winning, the tag title is as far as you are going, to go with your dysfunctional wrestling career, going down the drain already, especially when you and Anthony are facing, against each other in the battle royal."

"You both won't get along and that's what happens, when you are in a team with people who, eventually will turn your back on you in the future."

Stefan was speaking the truth as he had been, stabbed in the back recently on, being in a team with Yarmouth that, he felt that he had turned on him, and Stefan knows that it's going to, happen with The Dying Breed, among the other stables around APW, and it was a good thing that he wasn't, apart of any stable because he wanted to be on his, own and he hates everyone in APW.

Stefan now scored another goal, from the middle of the ice to, make it two goals to one as yet again, he was celebrating like he scored in an, ice hockey match and Elton just shakes his head, on Stefan being an arrogant prick, but this time Stefan put his shirt on his head, so people can see his naked torso.

Elton: "What the fuck is wrong with you, stupid cocky bastard? Put your shirt back in it's, rightful place and play me."

Stefan Raab: "Are you getting pissed off because I am winning over you?"

Elton: "No you are just being a complete dick, showing off the way you are. Just play a sportsmanship game, and behave now."

Stefan for once was doing as he's told, as he took the shirt off his head, and he gets into the middle of the pitch realizing, that he had to talk about Slade Craven, which he could say a lot about due to having lots of matches, with and against him lately.

"This person I just can't seem to get off my dick, at all these last few weeks on Slade Craven. It really shows how uncreative both, Jeff and Reginald are on booking us, against each other and as a team, time and time again. I am sick and tired of seeing your face, Slade and hopefully after the rumble, it will be the last time that I will ever see you again, especially if that ass hole Jeff accepts, the match against me at Rasslemania, who I have always wanted badly, ever since I came back from suspension. "

"There is just nothing left to prove between us, as we're tied for wins, one over the other and at least I made you, tap the fuck out against all the odds, that were stacked against me when Yarmouth was around, when he was sucking on Jeff's dick, as the special guest referee."

"I'm glad that you listened to me and smarten up, when you betrayed your former tag team partner because, you teaming with Shadow was a joke, but then I can see why the team failed, since you was the one that screwed up, two weeks ago when you got pinned, by Keaton Saint in that tag team, match we was in. You cost us the match so you can only, blame yourself Slade you stupid idiot, thinking TJ was the legal man in, the ring when he wasn't."

"This is exactly the reason I hate tag team matches, because every partner that I have had, always fuck things up for me to win the match. Also you called me a jobber? I don't think calling President Jeff out for a match, is something that a jobber would do but I can't say, the same about you though being a crap, ass wrestler that you are. If you want Shadow so bad, then you are better off going to Overdrive, because you can't face him, on Asylum unless Shadow moves to our, brand which I pretty much doubt that will happen. I have had enough talking about you, because I would be repeating myself over and over."

Stefan stops talking to take a breather as he continued to speak again.

"Now I can talk about the match in general. So all of you idiots think that you have, a chance on winning the match? Sorry but that goes to yours truly since unlike all of you, I always have confidence to win matches, on throwing you all the fuck out of the ring, as well as getting my match against President Jeff, who is completely ignoring me a lot as of late. Maybe I have much more to say to you losers, including Jeff later in the week because I have things, to do before I go to England to take, part in this stupid match."

The game was over as Stefan scored two goals to one, over Elton as they go back to the locker room, to get changed and Stefan goes on home, while Elton goes off to spend time, with his friends that live in California.

[Konrad Raab]

A circus vampire clown. Blackpool, England. Saturday 19th January.

Stanley Park was where Stefan was, with the horror circus that was going on in Blackpool, as he only just arrived there a few hours ago. He wasn't a fan of entertaining the fans, but it was something fun for Stefan to do, although tonight he was an evil clown that was wearing a black vampire, clown mask that he had made for himself.

Some people were scared of Stefan, but he didn't give a shit about them or anybody, as he was always aiming to piss people off like he was good on doing, when it came to wrestling especially. He was just doing mean tricks on people, even squirting blood water on people, who were harmless but he was showing the evil side of him out, and he had a hell of a lot of things to say, after two wrestlers have already said something, about Stefan while he was on a one wheeled bike.

"Ah so we got Aubrey and Slade talking shit, about me behind my back? That's fine with me because I knew you idiots, would have something to say, while The Dying Breed have been so quiet. I hear both of you run your mouth, on complete bullshit that you both, been saying about me. Aubrey and Slade seem like that they are more focused, on me than The Dying Breed. Hello I am not the only person in the match, or is it that I have pissed you both off a lot?"

"Get fucking used to it because I will continue, to piss you all off as long as I stand, in the wrestling business. Maybe I should leave you both last, since both of you already have said something about the match."

Stefan then saw his friend Elton, who was also dressed up like a clown, but he was the friendly one compared to Stefan, who was so busy pissing off everybody, and scaring them as well. It made Stefan happy, but Elton wasn't as he begins, to speak with Stefan.

Elton: "What the fuck are you doing?"

Stefan Raab: "Being me that's what Elton."

Elton: "What on that you are scaring people in the audience?"

Stefan Raab: "As I give a rats ass about seeing these idiots faces watching us, doing these pathetic stunts for them. Just shut up and let me do my thing."

Stefan had to talk about The Dying Breed members, of Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins, who seemed really quiet about the upcoming match, and Stefan knows it even though he hadn't really been, around the backstage of APW, but he knows what was going on as he played tricks, on people thinking they got something in the presents, when it was just an empty box with people booing Stefan.

"I said that I was going to talk about The Dying Breed first. What a name for that stupid team. Do they breed dead people now? That is just fucking pathetic like seriously, any name for a team they would've thought of, they would come up with something stupid like that? "

"Honestly you are a joke Jair Hopkins, purely because I already beaten you, in a fatal four way match on Meltdown, all those months ago. Remember that at all Jair, or are you still being homeless as hell, trying to find yourself a life? As if I care about you anyway being irrelevant as fuck. You pose no threat to me, and you are known for being in Anthony's shadow, anyway cock tailing him for his success. To me that's all you can do, is follow behind him making yourself, more of a joke than you have before. You failed to beat Callahan two weeks ago, and you will fail on being, the last man standing in the match tomorrow night."

"Ah Anthony. You are the only person out of everyone, I have to face in the ring tomorrow night, that I have never faced in a match yet, but that's about to change. You seem very quiet about the match, or have you been too busy, on selling your books? I said that you are a threat, to me in this match and I meant it, because you are the best wrestler in this match, and for that I can't get too nasty about you at all. "

"Like I said so far you haven't pissed me off once, and you are doing a good job on being quiet, and I expect you to keep it that way no matter how much, of an ass hole I am to everyone."

Stefan didn't really want to say that much more about Anthony, as he wanted to focus on other people, who were more important and that have said shit, about Stefan like Aubrey and Slade have, his two enemies that he hated, more than Jair Hopkins. Stefan then did a lot of crazy stuff, throwing soft balls at the audience not caring, in the world if people felt pain or not.

He laughed like a vampire, that he loved people who thought that Stefan, was being a nasty guy that he was, to the crowd around him. He stood on one ball with his leg up, in the air but he was squirting the blood water, at everyone and continues to speak.

"Oh yes the coöperate ass kisser Aubrey J Parker. I haven't forgotten about you at all, since you are a stupid bitch. How many times I got to tell, you that you don't deserve your title shots, that you been handed? I keep saying it because not only to piss you off, but also to get it in your darn useless fucking head, that you know it's the truth, that not only that you get gifted title shots, but also that you get people to help you win matches, regardless if you expected it or not. Already I think you as the Suicidal champion is a joke."

"Oh let's go on about how Logan Alexander, is better than you shall we? Oh wait that is true because he certainly, is making a name for himself over on Meltdown, which doesn't say a lot about you other than, kissing Schmidt's ass on climbing your way, to the top. You only got the Heavyweight title shot against Sally Talfourd, mainly because Reginald wanted to book you women, to a first ever Women's Heavyweight title match, and sure you won with Atken's help, but you didn't win the title did you?"

"The only title shot that you did earn however, was the time where you and Logan, went for the tag team titles twice. That's how you earn title shots, by winning number one contender matches. That's really the only thing I will, congratulate you on but that's it."

"Let's run down on the things you said about me shall we? Oh the fact I whine about things, which is complete utter rubbish. I never whine about anything, especially when I been busting my ass, on Asylum since August and not once, have I moaned about wanting to go to win a title. You need to get your fucking facts straight girl, and get into the real world that you, are not a good wrestler at all by any means, especially when you masturbate to a lot of President Jeff, and Reginald Schmidt pictures. You are just like the other wrestlers in the ring, no matter what gender you are, I will still beat you down, like you won't ever get up from a beating, you have ever got in your life."

Stefan hadn't talked about Slade Craven yet, but he was his biggest enemy in the match, as he knows all about him with his in ring wrestling skills, that he had manage to produce in the ring. Elton laughed a bit when Stefan said something, about Aubrey masturbating on Jeff and Schmidt pictures.

Elton: "That was just a priceless comment you said, about Aubrey playing with herself on Jeff and Schmidt pictures."

Stefan Raab: "It's the truth Elton since all she has done, is needing their help on getting her to, become a success. It's a joke how APW run their business, around here especially when Jeff and Reginald, are handing everyone title shots. Do I hate APW? Of course I do especially how even the newer guys, that just joined Asylum get title shots, and yet me being here since August I don't get fuck all."

Elton: "What are you moaning about the fact that, you want to have a handed a title shot?"

Stefan Raab: "Hell no I am not saying that at all. I'm pissed off at the fact, that everyone gets a chance of, having title shot and I get nothing out of it. It's ridiculous."

Elton: "I do agree with you but the thing is that, you want President Jeff in the ring first, and well of course he's going to stop..........................."

Stefan Raab: "What that he is going to stop me, from wrestling in APW? Get the fuck out of here with that bull crap. He can't do nothing to get me fired, or to stop me from winning titles in his stupid company."

Elton: "But you have moaned way too much about it. Just focus on your upcoming, match and not worrying about Jeff for now."

Stefan sighed but he knew he had yet to talk about Slade Craven, who said a lot of things about Stefan, as he was trying to entertain the fans at the same time, with the vampire clown mask that he was wearing, and he was wearing vampire clothes too. Stefan went to taste some, of that blood water he had for people earlier, and it tasted good to him more when he knows, that he will bust people open on Sunday night.

"How I love at the fact you are failing, to become a great trash talker when I am the one, that is pissing people off Slade. That's why I got the Most Hated Man in APW, nickname for because I piss people off all the time. You have never attempted to trash talk to President Jeff, oh wait that's because you are way too much of a scared bitch, to talk Jeff down than I am and being far too much, of a pussy to have the balls to challenge him, for a match. You keep bragging about the fact that you, think that win I got over you was a joke? If you look again I made you tap out, like a screaming bitch that I heard, while I was putting you in an ankle lock. Now who was being a big bitch there me or you? Of course it was you Slade."

"You are right about one thing though, and that is I am sick and tired of facing you time and time again in matches, and it was bad enough teaming with you two weeks ago, and who was the one that got pinned, in a middle of a ring? It was you Slade being a fucking idiot that you are, forgetting that TJ wasn't the legal man in the match up."

"You have been in APW longer than I have Slade, and all you have done since you got your ass, in the company is sucking on Shadow's dick to make success. Must hurt pretty bad that he is more relevant, and is a better wrestler than you, but I admire the courage that you had on challenging Shadow to a match, exactly what I been doing with President Jeff, but the thing is that people have challenged Shadow, for a match before but not hardly anyone can say that they have, challenged Jeff for a match for a few months now."

"I don't even like tag matches so of course I refused to work with you last week, because I prefer to wrestle on my own but you didn't seem to realize, that I refuse to carry someone's dick, or join in these pathetic worthless stables, that are going on around Asylum. "

"You are such a fucking dumb ass to not know, anything about my training. I am training at the StarrDome, as well as wrestling for here so that was bullshit on, what you said about that I only went on a camp, for a month to learn more move,s and that was it. No I been training in the StarrDome, throughout the entire time I been in APW, just you like everyone else didn't know anything about that."

Stefan took a break from talking, as he was going to enter in a coffin, as a vampire as there was nails planted in the coffin, and they closed the coffin, to see how long Stefan will last, with the nails poking, through as he continues to speak.

"My target for this week is to continue calling out Jeff, and for him to see me as a threat, because I am serious about wanting him in a match. Ever since I came back from suspension. You been backing down from a match, against me at Rasslemania like it's been a joke when, clearly I never been more serious on wanting to face anybody in a wrestling ring more than I have with you in my life. You can't carry on ignoring the challenge I made out for you Jeff, because I am going to hunt you down at Survive and Conquer, to get what I want facing you at Rasslemania."

"Onto the task on hand. None of you are worth my time that I have to face, in the rumble especially when I have to put up with you idiots, in this exclusive battle royal that Reginald Schmidt set up for us all, to beat the hell out of each other in the ring, as well as in the Survive and Conquer match. You four seem to see me more as a threat, than on each other and that's good because I do get into people's heads, a lot especially when I got into Aubrey's, Slade's, Jair's and even President Jeff's head as well."

"Aubrey, Slade, Jair and Anthony you will all be thrown the fuck out of the ring, and you four will like it a lot tomorrow night, and at Survive and Conquer PPV while Jeff will sit in his office chair, fearing what I may do to him at Rasslemania. Prepare to be Raabinated by The Killerplauze."

Stefan was finished talking as he managed to outlast fifteen minutes, of him being in the coffin with nails sticking out, as he then went backstage, getting changed into his normal clothes, before heading back to his hotel room, to watch a bit of TV before heading off to sleep the next day of wrestling.