Post by Konrad Raab on Jul 9, 2013 17:50:38 GMT
Tilted Kilt comedy club. Huntsville, Alabama. Saturday 13th July.
Stefan is in an old-fashioned Scottish comedy club that's been around since the seventeenth century. It mainly had Scottish people with a few Americans around waiting for Stefan's show to get started. He's wearing a kilt showing the Scottish tradition of the club even though Stefan is German but he had to do something different.
The police officers were backstage since Stefan's still doing time in prison but he wanted to do something this week since he was behaving for the last two weeks not getting in trouble. He also has sex dolls that he brought on the stage which one of them was a male which he named Evan on the top of his forehead and the other was a woman named Sarah.
He turns to the crowd and the camera facing him as he begins to speak.
"Hello Scottish scum. I'm Stefan Raab the general manager of Raab-A-Mania in Action Packed Wrestling not that any of you American/Scottish idiots would understand. I put myself in a match against your Scottish hero Evan McDonald this week because I got fed up of facing against American wrestlers all the time.
It's a battle of the Scottish and the German Sensation that needs to headline Raab-A-Mania but I decided not to because I need to teach your hero how to get him noticed on camera."
He was only just getting started on building the match up a bit as he then continues to speak.
"Alright this guy has defeated some pretty impressive opponents since he started in APW. Guys like The Dying Breed team of Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins, Cid Phoenix, Jake Youngblood, beating a three-man/woman team of Warren Peace, Niobe Martin and Cid Phoenix, Legion last week and I could go on but it shows that this kid can do great things with his career no doubt at all whatsoever.
He's almost like me in a sense that he seems a very rich guy that can afford pretty much everything and does everything he can. He seems very friendly to the women compared to me giving and buying them gifts when he wins matches and even when he loses as well. Hell Evan's had more title shots than I ever had since I've been in APW and it seems like he's earned them by hard work.
Then I got to realize that this guy can pull a win from out of nowhere like he's done in the past like against The Dying Breed and Legion so he's quite a sneaky wrestler that can pull any tricks out of a book and use it to his advantage to beat me."[/color]
It was the only nice comments he could say about Evan as Stefan felt he hadn't impressed him that much as he continues to speak.
"But all Evan's really done since he's been in APW is teaming with Ellis Graham beating The Dying Breed and that's with Niobe Martin helping him and Ellis win the match against them because we all know that you and Ellis would've lost to them if she didn't come and help.
Only for a few weeks later that The Trust team split up because McDonald kept costing his team matches and Ellis proved that Evan was untrustworthy with asking other members of the APW roster to team with him which is just pathetic.
Sure he's a rich guy but I can tell you now that Evan doesn't even come close compared to the money I earn and I'm in prison for goodness sake. I mean I was an entertainer before turning to a professional wrestler and now I'm the general manager of Raab-A-Mania something that he, the rest of the Raab-A-Mania freaks and you lot in the front row will never do. Already I'm the richest son of a bitch in APW because of the lawsuit that Jeff's under thanks to me.
Evan is officially known as a man whore sleeping with women in nearly every single promo you do. I think everyone gets the fact that you are some sort of ladies man keep repeating yourself over and over.
I fall asleep in each one of them and it's no wonder why you barely are relevant to my brand because your stuck in a hotel closet doing promos without going out anywhere else asides from restaurants sometimes but you barely show your Scottish colours other than saying The Scottish Sensation. Since when was the last time you spoke in a Scottish accent?
Oh oops your hero doesn't since he sounds like a Englishman every time I hear Evan talk and he never seems to wear the Scheißdreck kilt that most Scots man wear and I even see some of you tonight wearing kilts showing your Scottish pride that Evan seems to fail at completely. I barely even see him wave a Scottish flag but I recently waved a German flag a couple of weeks after I defeated President Jeff at Rasslemania nine while Evan lost to that British Schwanzlutscher The Gov'nor for the North American title."
Stefan then got the sex dolls in place as he begins to speak in a Scottish accent.
Evan McDonald sex doll: "Oh look at me. I love sleeping with so many women in bed that I feel they are more important than taking care of business in the ring."
Then Stefan speaks in a woman accent for the Sarah sex doll.
Sarah sex doll: "Oh you don't need to worry about wrestling Evan because I will pay you five hundred dollars to have sex with me."
Evan McDonald sex doll: "Yes of course I would do it for that amount of money since I'm a prostitute sleeping with every single woman in the world to make myself relevant to everyone in APW."
Sarah sex doll: "Then let's do it."
Stefan then makes sex noises with the dolls as he puts the Evan doll behind the Sarah doll for a while as he continues to speak.
"From the way Evan acts around. He sure as hell does not seem much of a wrestler. He's better off doing porn movies with those women friend of his than to bother with wrestling in general because all Evan goes on about is how he's god’s gift to women. I don't think he saw me actually knocking Bambi out lately when she got in the way of me punching Reginald and I don't regret doing that one bit Evan.
I'm more like the devils gift to woman because no matter what. I will face any female wrestler in the ring but your hero is also a hypocrite by saying that he would beat Kaylyn that you would in ten seconds. Who got the better out of that exchange? It certainly wasn't you. Nearly everyone I've faced in the ring lately except Biggs have all lost to Kaylyn James Evans. Me? I defeated her on my own without any help which a lot of people forget all the god damn time.
Sometimes I look at wrestlers like him and think why can't anybody defeat Kaylyn when I'm the only guy on Raab-A-Mania so far that's actually defeated her? Really she's not that impressive in the ring but at least she's a fighting champion which I can't say about....................... oh right Evan's never even been champion yet how can I forget well he's almost forgotten about in APW seeing how nobody barely sees Evan backstage taking camera time from people unless Evan realizes that he's so ugly that even the ladies would turn away from their screens to see him.
Evan's probably wondering how an earth I got this much information about him while I'm stuck in a prison cell? My agent does studies on each one of my opponents I face in the ring and he gives me paperwork in detail what that superstar has done in the ring and how well they've done. There was hardly anything that surprised me.
That's why I picked you to face against me as well because you clearly failed to impress me since you've been on Raab-A-Mania show and if I could then I would trade Michael Jennings over you to take his place because you are such a Drecksack. Hell you weren't even on my list when I listed all the wrestlers in APW I wanted on my brand. I was pissed off that I ended having you because you close yourself in a hotel closet and even in a restaurant closet too."[/color]
Stefan then goes backstage for a bit and pulls out a sofa bed as he gets the sex dolls and places them on the bed.
Evan McDonald sex doll: "You are my best woman friend I've ever had."
Sarah sex doll: "Oh you mean shag buddies right?"
Evan McDonald sex doll: "Yes we are indeed. I'm gods gift to women the sexiest bitch in wrestling."
Sarah sex doll: "Yes you are but do you want to go out somewhere?"
Evan McDonald sex doll: "No. I want to stay in this hotel room alone with you because I'm afraid of going out to see new people and places around me. Let's cuddle up together Sarah."
Stefan then gets the dolls to cuddle each other along with the crowd laughing at Stefan's joke even though it was their hero that Stefan takes the piss on but the crowd were enjoying it as he continued to speak.
"I'm surprised that Evan's never even been to the playboy mansion as that's the sort of job he should do on taking pictures of naked women which is just sickening. Oh wait better not because Evan might end up being in bed with each one of those women at the mansion doing god knows what not information for everyone to hear or to see at all.
I even bet on Evan carrying a sexually transmitted disease with the amount of cock he's put in women. He's just disgusting and it seems like women, sex and money are the only things he does in life. Evan's the biggest joke I've ever met in my life and that's the truth about the dude.
If Evan says what he is on being a millionaire then why isn't he a general manager? Why isn't he doing more things than having sex with woman in bed after every time he speaks before matches? Because Evan fails in life that's why.
Everybody including President jerk off hate me at the moment and can you believe that ficken banned me from going to the last Meltdown show tomorrow night? He's scared of me and fears of the situation he's in with me becoming general manager of Raab-A-Mania again but he's unable to do scheisse when he runs the show tomorrow night.
I bet Evan's been masturbating about this match against me? I wouldn't be surprised if he has because quite frankly already I'm wasting my time having to face him even though I picked Evan but hey I wasn't going to not wrestle on my show otherwise it's not my show.
It currently isn't with the stupid fans I had to listen to wanting Reaver and Young Mannie instead of me having to main event on my show but I can easily ruin their plans of enjoying themselves taking the spotlight from me for a change. I should've been facing Evan in the main event match on Raab-A-Mania not those two idiots."
Stefan then goes backstage again and brings out more female sex dolls that are called Amy and Carly as he put them in bed with Sarah and Evan who's in the middle. Stefan then speaks in a female voice accent.
The female sex dolls: "Oh look how much of a real man you are."
Evan McDonald sex doll: "I'm the package after all ladies. Let's have more sex now"
Stefan gets the dolls close together as he makes sex noises as well as hearing the laughs and the claps from the crowd before having to go off stage but the cameras were now backstage as Stefan continues to speak while the police officers put the handcuffs on him.
"You are a joke Evan to wrestle only for the money to pay for child support only because you couldn't be bothered to use a condom when you have sex. At least I fight and talk trash my way to the top than to sleep with women you sad piece of crap.
Which is why I'm going to give you an extreme beating you've never experienced before. The beating you gave to Legion is nothing compared to what I do with you because you're facing an inmate who's always angry and having to fight for my life every single day in prison. You know what they say about inmates about being brutal fuckers? Yes I've become extremely brutal in my matches as of late since I've been in prison being unstoppable feeling the pain that you have never experienced before willing to do everything it takes to break your body in half.
I'm going to do everything to prove to you that Germany is superior to Scotland seeing how it's a much bigger country and more well-known than Scotland is since bagpipes and kilts are the only things people remember for your country while for my country. We are famous for starting wars and creating decent music that you Scottish people fail to produce to public everyday.
That's why we are facing against each other tomorrow night because of the countries war I wanted to have for my show for a one-off match. Even with my broken ribs I can still beat you up and experience the German suplex machine that I am. I've destroyed British, American and Canadian wrestlers in the past now I will add Scottish wrestlers on my list once I've defeated you Evan because The Scottish Sensation will be prepared to be Raabinated by The German Sensation staying behind the hotel closet where you belong being with your shag partners I call your women friends being proud members of Evan's sucking dick club."
After Stefan took the kilt off to put his prison trousers back on. He was then taken away by the police to go back into the Alabama prison to play basketball with the other inmates since it was free time for them.
Stefan is in an old-fashioned Scottish comedy club that's been around since the seventeenth century. It mainly had Scottish people with a few Americans around waiting for Stefan's show to get started. He's wearing a kilt showing the Scottish tradition of the club even though Stefan is German but he had to do something different.
The police officers were backstage since Stefan's still doing time in prison but he wanted to do something this week since he was behaving for the last two weeks not getting in trouble. He also has sex dolls that he brought on the stage which one of them was a male which he named Evan on the top of his forehead and the other was a woman named Sarah.
He turns to the crowd and the camera facing him as he begins to speak.
"Hello Scottish scum. I'm Stefan Raab the general manager of Raab-A-Mania in Action Packed Wrestling not that any of you American/Scottish idiots would understand. I put myself in a match against your Scottish hero Evan McDonald this week because I got fed up of facing against American wrestlers all the time.
It's a battle of the Scottish and the German Sensation that needs to headline Raab-A-Mania but I decided not to because I need to teach your hero how to get him noticed on camera."
He was only just getting started on building the match up a bit as he then continues to speak.
"Alright this guy has defeated some pretty impressive opponents since he started in APW. Guys like The Dying Breed team of Anthony Bailey and Jair Hopkins, Cid Phoenix, Jake Youngblood, beating a three-man/woman team of Warren Peace, Niobe Martin and Cid Phoenix, Legion last week and I could go on but it shows that this kid can do great things with his career no doubt at all whatsoever.
He's almost like me in a sense that he seems a very rich guy that can afford pretty much everything and does everything he can. He seems very friendly to the women compared to me giving and buying them gifts when he wins matches and even when he loses as well. Hell Evan's had more title shots than I ever had since I've been in APW and it seems like he's earned them by hard work.
Then I got to realize that this guy can pull a win from out of nowhere like he's done in the past like against The Dying Breed and Legion so he's quite a sneaky wrestler that can pull any tricks out of a book and use it to his advantage to beat me."[/color]
It was the only nice comments he could say about Evan as Stefan felt he hadn't impressed him that much as he continues to speak.
"But all Evan's really done since he's been in APW is teaming with Ellis Graham beating The Dying Breed and that's with Niobe Martin helping him and Ellis win the match against them because we all know that you and Ellis would've lost to them if she didn't come and help.
Only for a few weeks later that The Trust team split up because McDonald kept costing his team matches and Ellis proved that Evan was untrustworthy with asking other members of the APW roster to team with him which is just pathetic.
Sure he's a rich guy but I can tell you now that Evan doesn't even come close compared to the money I earn and I'm in prison for goodness sake. I mean I was an entertainer before turning to a professional wrestler and now I'm the general manager of Raab-A-Mania something that he, the rest of the Raab-A-Mania freaks and you lot in the front row will never do. Already I'm the richest son of a bitch in APW because of the lawsuit that Jeff's under thanks to me.
Evan is officially known as a man whore sleeping with women in nearly every single promo you do. I think everyone gets the fact that you are some sort of ladies man keep repeating yourself over and over.
I fall asleep in each one of them and it's no wonder why you barely are relevant to my brand because your stuck in a hotel closet doing promos without going out anywhere else asides from restaurants sometimes but you barely show your Scottish colours other than saying The Scottish Sensation. Since when was the last time you spoke in a Scottish accent?
Oh oops your hero doesn't since he sounds like a Englishman every time I hear Evan talk and he never seems to wear the Scheißdreck kilt that most Scots man wear and I even see some of you tonight wearing kilts showing your Scottish pride that Evan seems to fail at completely. I barely even see him wave a Scottish flag but I recently waved a German flag a couple of weeks after I defeated President Jeff at Rasslemania nine while Evan lost to that British Schwanzlutscher The Gov'nor for the North American title."
Stefan then got the sex dolls in place as he begins to speak in a Scottish accent.
Evan McDonald sex doll: "Oh look at me. I love sleeping with so many women in bed that I feel they are more important than taking care of business in the ring."
Then Stefan speaks in a woman accent for the Sarah sex doll.
Sarah sex doll: "Oh you don't need to worry about wrestling Evan because I will pay you five hundred dollars to have sex with me."
Evan McDonald sex doll: "Yes of course I would do it for that amount of money since I'm a prostitute sleeping with every single woman in the world to make myself relevant to everyone in APW."
Sarah sex doll: "Then let's do it."
Stefan then makes sex noises with the dolls as he puts the Evan doll behind the Sarah doll for a while as he continues to speak.
"From the way Evan acts around. He sure as hell does not seem much of a wrestler. He's better off doing porn movies with those women friend of his than to bother with wrestling in general because all Evan goes on about is how he's god’s gift to women. I don't think he saw me actually knocking Bambi out lately when she got in the way of me punching Reginald and I don't regret doing that one bit Evan.
I'm more like the devils gift to woman because no matter what. I will face any female wrestler in the ring but your hero is also a hypocrite by saying that he would beat Kaylyn that you would in ten seconds. Who got the better out of that exchange? It certainly wasn't you. Nearly everyone I've faced in the ring lately except Biggs have all lost to Kaylyn James Evans. Me? I defeated her on my own without any help which a lot of people forget all the god damn time.
Sometimes I look at wrestlers like him and think why can't anybody defeat Kaylyn when I'm the only guy on Raab-A-Mania so far that's actually defeated her? Really she's not that impressive in the ring but at least she's a fighting champion which I can't say about....................... oh right Evan's never even been champion yet how can I forget well he's almost forgotten about in APW seeing how nobody barely sees Evan backstage taking camera time from people unless Evan realizes that he's so ugly that even the ladies would turn away from their screens to see him.
Evan's probably wondering how an earth I got this much information about him while I'm stuck in a prison cell? My agent does studies on each one of my opponents I face in the ring and he gives me paperwork in detail what that superstar has done in the ring and how well they've done. There was hardly anything that surprised me.
That's why I picked you to face against me as well because you clearly failed to impress me since you've been on Raab-A-Mania show and if I could then I would trade Michael Jennings over you to take his place because you are such a Drecksack. Hell you weren't even on my list when I listed all the wrestlers in APW I wanted on my brand. I was pissed off that I ended having you because you close yourself in a hotel closet and even in a restaurant closet too."[/color]
Stefan then goes backstage for a bit and pulls out a sofa bed as he gets the sex dolls and places them on the bed.
Evan McDonald sex doll: "You are my best woman friend I've ever had."
Sarah sex doll: "Oh you mean shag buddies right?"
Evan McDonald sex doll: "Yes we are indeed. I'm gods gift to women the sexiest bitch in wrestling."
Sarah sex doll: "Yes you are but do you want to go out somewhere?"
Evan McDonald sex doll: "No. I want to stay in this hotel room alone with you because I'm afraid of going out to see new people and places around me. Let's cuddle up together Sarah."
Stefan then gets the dolls to cuddle each other along with the crowd laughing at Stefan's joke even though it was their hero that Stefan takes the piss on but the crowd were enjoying it as he continued to speak.
"I'm surprised that Evan's never even been to the playboy mansion as that's the sort of job he should do on taking pictures of naked women which is just sickening. Oh wait better not because Evan might end up being in bed with each one of those women at the mansion doing god knows what not information for everyone to hear or to see at all.
I even bet on Evan carrying a sexually transmitted disease with the amount of cock he's put in women. He's just disgusting and it seems like women, sex and money are the only things he does in life. Evan's the biggest joke I've ever met in my life and that's the truth about the dude.
If Evan says what he is on being a millionaire then why isn't he a general manager? Why isn't he doing more things than having sex with woman in bed after every time he speaks before matches? Because Evan fails in life that's why.
Everybody including President jerk off hate me at the moment and can you believe that ficken banned me from going to the last Meltdown show tomorrow night? He's scared of me and fears of the situation he's in with me becoming general manager of Raab-A-Mania again but he's unable to do scheisse when he runs the show tomorrow night.
I bet Evan's been masturbating about this match against me? I wouldn't be surprised if he has because quite frankly already I'm wasting my time having to face him even though I picked Evan but hey I wasn't going to not wrestle on my show otherwise it's not my show.
It currently isn't with the stupid fans I had to listen to wanting Reaver and Young Mannie instead of me having to main event on my show but I can easily ruin their plans of enjoying themselves taking the spotlight from me for a change. I should've been facing Evan in the main event match on Raab-A-Mania not those two idiots."
Stefan then goes backstage again and brings out more female sex dolls that are called Amy and Carly as he put them in bed with Sarah and Evan who's in the middle. Stefan then speaks in a female voice accent.
The female sex dolls: "Oh look how much of a real man you are."
Evan McDonald sex doll: "I'm the package after all ladies. Let's have more sex now"
Stefan gets the dolls close together as he makes sex noises as well as hearing the laughs and the claps from the crowd before having to go off stage but the cameras were now backstage as Stefan continues to speak while the police officers put the handcuffs on him.
"You are a joke Evan to wrestle only for the money to pay for child support only because you couldn't be bothered to use a condom when you have sex. At least I fight and talk trash my way to the top than to sleep with women you sad piece of crap.
Which is why I'm going to give you an extreme beating you've never experienced before. The beating you gave to Legion is nothing compared to what I do with you because you're facing an inmate who's always angry and having to fight for my life every single day in prison. You know what they say about inmates about being brutal fuckers? Yes I've become extremely brutal in my matches as of late since I've been in prison being unstoppable feeling the pain that you have never experienced before willing to do everything it takes to break your body in half.
I'm going to do everything to prove to you that Germany is superior to Scotland seeing how it's a much bigger country and more well-known than Scotland is since bagpipes and kilts are the only things people remember for your country while for my country. We are famous for starting wars and creating decent music that you Scottish people fail to produce to public everyday.
That's why we are facing against each other tomorrow night because of the countries war I wanted to have for my show for a one-off match. Even with my broken ribs I can still beat you up and experience the German suplex machine that I am. I've destroyed British, American and Canadian wrestlers in the past now I will add Scottish wrestlers on my list once I've defeated you Evan because The Scottish Sensation will be prepared to be Raabinated by The German Sensation staying behind the hotel closet where you belong being with your shag partners I call your women friends being proud members of Evan's sucking dick club."
After Stefan took the kilt off to put his prison trousers back on. He was then taken away by the police to go back into the Alabama prison to play basketball with the other inmates since it was free time for them.