Post by Konrad Raab on Sept 11, 2019 21:13:33 GMT
Being told to go back on the mental training course. Anaheim, California. Monday 4th June. (Off Camera)
Once in a while in the business, at least one wrestler in the business have gone downhill with their performances or even their lack of focus of doing their job in the ring, but none of them would go for the option of rebuilding another company in his hometown and helping another wrestler get better which it does seem Konrad's always happier helping out other wrestlers to get them somewhere. Sure he lost the match, but it benefited his opponent more than him and that made him very happy.
Although Fizz knew in the long run that's not something he really should be doing in the wrestling business, especially when Fizz had some news about the course he was on two years ago, knowing Konrad had gone completely backwards, although the guy on the phone wanted to talk to Konrad directly, he wasn't in America so of course, it leads for Fizz to talk to him, although she was going downhill herself with her pregnancy as of late on being sick and tired a lot.
It took a long while before Konrad opened the door and came in the house with a smile on his face which he hadn't smiled apart from when he was with his kids for a very long time. He goes to the kitchen and gives Fizz a kiss which caught her off guard as they sit in the kitchen together and she speaks.
Fizz Raab: “You're happy to see me?”
Konrad Raab: “Actually I am and it makes me proud to say this. I'm actually happy with how the match turned out with Xavier Reid. It was a match I clearly needed to do something I've not done for a very long time.”
Fizz Raab: “I did watch the match and both of you tore the house down, almost like I'm seeing another Konrad compared to the one I saw when he fought Katie Steward and I can't say I blame you for feeling like that.”
Konrad went silent all of a sudden as anything regarding the stuff he done in SCW just caused him to go downhill with himself, being ashamed to react how he did and knew he couldn't go back for two weeks and needed to gather himself together, although he nods with what she said and he sighed to say this.
Konrad Raab: “I need help.”
Fizz Raab: “I know you do. Funny enough, I got news regarding that.”
Konrad Raab: “You found a sports psychologist?”
Fizz Raab: “Not exactly, but some guy called me up earlier this morning to ask for you. I said you weren't home or in the country, but they practically told me to tell you that you still not completed the mental training course you started two years ago and they know you've rocked bottom when it comes to SCW business.”
Konrad Raab: “Oh yeah, I literally forgot I was there. I don't know why. Are you saying that they said they want me to go back?”
Fizz Raab: “Yes and they want you there tomorrow afternoon. I got your flight tickets to Orlando, Florida and got their address for you in case you forgot where the place was and they said your mental training starts once again on Wednesday for a discussion before going through with training.”
There it was, the confirmation of rather Fizz finding someone to help Konrad out with his mental training side of things, they came to him or at least came to Fizz to tell Konrad to go back to finish what he hadn't completed two years ago. Although he knew the friends he had would've improved and left the course now, there was plenty of things to be fixed with Konrad's mentality being the major weakness of his wrestling.
Konrad Raab: “Well, I guess I go and get myself packed up to go right now.”
Fizz Raab: “Or leave it until tomorrow morning since you don't have to fly until three in the afternoon and spend time with your wife before you leave.”
Konrad Raab: “Sounds like a good idea. You're right, there's no rush for me to unpack and pack again. It's good they told you I needed to go back as there was a lot of things I didn't talk to them about due to lack of time and that would honestly be better than going to a mental hospital as I get a bit more freedom compared to there.”
Fizz Raab: “Indeed you do. Let's spend time together upstairs.”
That's exactly what they did as they left the kitchen to go straight upstairs and into their bedroom for some loving time together they had for four hours before the sounds dropped since they both fell asleep right away, although Fizz knew she would find it tough for Konrad to go away for a couple of weeks to do a lot of training to prepare for what he's about to go through these next few days.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Mental weakness discussions. Orlando, Florida. Wednesday 6th June. (Off Camera)
Nothing happened on the first day other than being told the rules of the place and any questions he has, although he wasn't feeling the idea of being here for the next few weeks, but he knew if it was going to benefit him to get his mental training in order, this was the perfect place for it where it's far more open to doing anything than a mental hospital would. He did, however, recognise the boss of the place right away as he was still there and he predicted the friends he had on the course left due to their overall improvement.
It was only eight in the morning and Konrad not long just had breakfast with other guys that were on the same course as him and in the same sport as him as well, but he was feeling the sense of being down in the dumps, being ashamed to know he needed help and to check himself in the mental training course as the boss Neil Stubbles looks at Konrad and he speaks.
Neil Stubbles: “You've slipped backwards.”
Konrad Raab: “I know and I need all the help I can get to not keep going back like I always do.”
Neil Stubbles: “I looked at your matches against Andrew Raynes and Katie Steward and you really don't seem to be yourself. Heck, you stated you missed a few shows. Is there something I don't know about you?”
Konrad Raab: “Yes there is.”
Neil Stubbles: “OK so what is it that I don't know about you. We know about your weaknesses, I've seen it, but we need to know what's going on to help you improve the entire time you're on this course.”
Konrad Raab: “I'm scared of being a failure. I'm scared of being in high-pressure matches and I always fucking scared of losing.”
That was something that had been taken completely wide open, Neil had no idea of Konrad being scared of being in high-pressure matches, being a failure and losing matches. Of course, the way he has watched his videos has had those signs, but Neil wanted Konrad to say it as he writes down in the list of notes what exactly to do on improving on those things.
Neil Stubbles: “It's good you've told me because I don't think in any videos you've done for SCW you've mentioned none of that. I also know the other side of what we really need to work you on and possibly being one of the most important things along with dealing with losses and pressure is you being more selfish and doing things just for you.”
Konrad Raab: “I don't understand.”
Neil Stubbles: “Look, in life Konrad, you need to make yourself happy and the only way you can do that is by being more selfish, doing things that will benefit you. That's why you have no confidence or the sense of will to complete tasks cos you're more concerned about making everyone else happy.”
This was one of the hardest things Konrad had to understand and he still doesn't because it wasn't the sort of thing he ever wants to resort to, he never wanted to be somebody he's not. It got him down pretty bad as Neil saw it, he saw that Konrad wasn't somebody he had met when it came down to wrestlers in the business. Konrad took a lot of time to take things on the chin, especially with something like that.
Konrad Raab: “It's who I am sir. I can't help it when I help other people before myself. I feel like a piece of shit when I put myself first. I hate being selfish and most importantly, I hate feeling the sense of having an ego which many people say I need to do more, but when I said those things to Andrew, I was disgusted by it.”
Neil Stubbles: “There are positive and negative ways of having an ego. You need to figure that out on your own along with the training we are going to help you do and trust me, you're gonna go through a huge amount of hell when you're here because it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I just think the entire time you've been wrestling, you've never ever had anybody telling you this sport is about the mental side of things.”
Konrad Raab: “Or I've got this worry of going back to how I was when I started my wrestling career which you know all about and I don't want to be a drunken, disrespectful, mouthy idiot I was, that's something I refuse to ever go back to because it leads me down the wrong path, even to a point of me not being allowed to be in the sport.”
Neil Stubbles: “I do know that's down to your lack of experience, but if you even thought about going down the wrong path, that's something to be worked on as well. We can easily cope with all of those vital things you need to get you into a better place during the time you're here.”
He felt a bit happier, although was really nervous on the amount of hell he knows he'll have to go through, it was better than going back to SCW and doing the same stuff he did before, he needed to change and Neil knew it. Of course, there was something on his mind about a company he has to wrestle for over in England on Fridays as he speaks.
Konrad Raab: “Problem I have is that I have to wrestle in Rebellion Pro which is based in Manchester, England on Fridays.”
Neil Stubbles: “That won't be a problem, trust me because we've encountered many things like this and we always make sure we arrange somebody to go to those events with you so we can't start today because you've only come here last night and on top of what you told me, no point starting things when you got to leave tomorrow, but on Saturday however, you're gonna go through hell and that's when training begins.”
Konrad Raab: “Is that something that can be arranged?”
Neil Stubbles: “Yes very easily, but you let me take care of that and you go back to your room and write down things in life that make you happy in and out of wrestling and take a long time to think about it and I want to see those list of things by eight tonight.”
Konrad Raab: “That sounds good. However, I want to request that when I leave this place, I would also like for you guys to arrange me a mental trainer who can accompany me to my SCW matches to keep my head straight basically and not go backwards.”
Neil Stubbles: “That can be arranged as well and it already seems so promising you really need and most importantly want to change. I see you on Saturday when the mental tasks begin and you'll do quite a bit of writing as well. We'll talk more about that later though.”
Konrad nods as he gets up and leaves the office right away to go straight into the room he was assigned to and takes a lot of time to think what in life in and out of wrestling on things that generally make him happy. By two in the afternoon he had only written six things about himself and then he sighs.
Konrad Raab: “How do I take time to think about myself? I see more about other wrestlers and my family than me. I know Neil would likely be mad at me later for not thinking much about what makes me happy I've done for myself, but I can't complete this, I can't think of anything great about myself I've done to make me happy and be positive about myself.”
Which in the world of SCW, there wasn't anything Konrad could think of that he actually did something for himself, but he did manage to write a bit more, but there were clear signs of the task being so difficult for him. His head wasn't even in a good space right now and instead of being happy, he lies on his bed and starts crying because he hadn't been happy with anything he's done for months in SCW.
When eight in the night came around, Neil knew Konrad had failed, it was clear as day as he didn't even arrive in the office and even when the other guys came in to try and comfort Konrad who he shared the room with was to no effect, Neil who asked one of the boys where he came in and sees Konrad crying a lot as he says this after taking a quick look at the list Konrad wrote
Neil Stubbles: “Hey, relax dude. I know you feel you've failed, but it's fine. I didn't say you had to write a lot, but I see signs that you never seem to be happy with yourself and the achievements you've done. What about the time when you attacked Har Megiddo and Damien Angel all on your own without anybody having the guts to do that? That's something positive there for you and I reckon you did that for yourself and you were happier for it.”
Konrad Raab: “Yeah, but what else have I done that I've been proud of in SCW? There's nothing, nothing I really truly felt happy with that I've done for myself.”
Neil Stubbles: “It helped a lot to know more about you. I mean last time you came here, we barely knew anything about you, but today has made me realise that you need a ton of help and we can get you there. I also got someone arranged for you to go to England for your matches on Fridays. You really are a kind and caring guy. Not many wrestlers have that.”
That made Konrad a bit happier that Neil saw Konrad's strength was being a helpful and caring guy. He knew that and he knew that Konrad had improved a lot with his skills overtime since two years ago as well so it wasn't the psychical part of Konrad that needed working on at all. Konrad was suddenly happier that Neil talking to him made him better and he sees Konrad smiling.
Neil Stubbles: “That's better. See, these guys are in the same situation as yourself and they tried to help you. Trust in them because their support can really help you get through this course, although I need guys to be mean towards you because you're not good at dealing with heat you get. You also are allowed to use Twitter as well while you're here, but only for fifteen minutes. I leave you alone for now and see you on Saturday.”
Neil takes the paper Konrad done with the things that make him happy and leaves Konrad's room as one thing he was glad about being here is the benefit of doing things none of the other mental facilities would allow him to do, use Twitter to talk to people, even though it was for fifteen minutes, but certainly was better than nothing as he knows he's in a whole world of hell for the next two weeks and he really felt a bit more at home with the other guys chatting to Konrad and even interacting with them with playing board games and getting used to one another. The curfew was eleven at night as the alarms went off and everyone went to bed to sleep.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Meeting his mental trainer for the first time. Mexico City, Mexico. Tuesday 26th June. (Off Camera)
Yesterday afternoon while preparing to go to Mexico, he received a text from his mental training course boss to say they've set up a mental trainer for him as he requested the day of the meeting because of his worry of slipping up after he left to continue on his SCW run. They requested that he and the mental trainer to meet up in the hotel lobby and that he'll always be with Konrad at the SCW shows and house show events he may do during his return run to things.
So he texted them back as they asked what hotel was he staying in Mexico and he mentioned where he was staying and said to meet in the hotel lobby when he was ready. He got to the hotel and got himself checked in before he goes in the lift to his room and places his stuff down as it wasn't something he wanted to do before meeting up with the mental trainer. However he did go out of his room again and went back into the lift to go back to the reception area, but he goes past it to where the hotel lobby was.
He saw a man who was in his late thirties with a bald head and looking pretty big for a mental trainer sitting on the armchair, waiting for someone and the guy noticed Konrad straight away as he says this.
Mental trainer: “You must be Konrad.”
Konrad Raab: “Yes I am, nice to meet you.”
Mental trainer: “Same here. I'm Jerry Flack, the mental trainer you requested.”
Konrad Raab: “Let's go and talk business in my hotel room because in case an SCW star hears us as I want to hide this as much as I can.”
Jerry Flack: “Good idea.”
Jerry stands up and shakes Konrad's hand of them dealing with new business together, doing things he dreams to do with Konrad's future in SCW looking as of right now very bleak and Konrad knew this was the best situation to take with proper guidance that would not make him go backwards and the way he was before going in the mental training course. They took the lift up to Konrad's room and Konrad allowed Jerry in before closing the door as they sat down on the chairs they had in Konrad's room and he speaks.
Konrad Raab: “So, where you staying?”
Jerry Flack: “I'm just a few doors down from you as I made sure I was on the same level as you.”
Konrad Raab: “Anyway let's get down to it mate. You see, I'm going to be facing against a guy who's associated with the Adrenaline champion who made my life hell and where things turned for the worse, Dustin Adams.”
Jerry Flack: “I know, I'm aware of what went down, but you know where you went wrong of how you took the loss really bad like you didn't want to bother.”
Konrad Raab: “Problem is I know many SCW stars don't want to see me back and honestly after upsetting them like I did, I can't blame them.”
Jerry was, of course, aware of the issues Konrad caused, but this was why Konrad needed Jerry's help to get him to be a lot more positive and reminding him of his confidence which was certainly needed. Konrad was aware of the Rise To Greatness PPV coming up but wasn't focused about that as of right now as Jerry says this.
Jerry Flack: “Remember everything you've learnt in the course to not put yourself down. OK you need to always be positive and you know how to handle losses now, don't you?”
Konrad Raab: “Yes.”
Jerry Flack: “What do you do when you lose a match?”
Konrad Raab: “Learn from my mistakes, pick myself back up and try again until I win.”
Jerry Flack: “Exactly.”
Of course, it was only quite a small talk with the pair of them so far, but they've only just met each other for the first time and there wasn't much to say about his opponent other than being on his side to assist Andrew Raynes with the problems he has with Dylan as of right now and Jerry says this.
Jerry Flack: “This guy outweighs you a lot and he's gonna be focused all on pure power. That's when you're advantage of your speed will come into play. Dustin will say a lot of bad things about your past, but what do you do if he does?”
Konrad Raab: “Ignore it.”
Jerry Flack: “Not just ignore it, but not giving a shit about it. You need to remember to be happy and doing this match for yourself. Not for anybody else, but you.”
Konrad Raab: “Trust me, I understand now how much this match means to me. Of course, it won't mean anything for my opponent, although I'm aware I'm the second opponent he's fought, while some could say I've had ring rust, we know that's not true with me wrestling in Rebellion Pro and Quag Cup recently.”
Jerry Flack: “Do you mind also I just sit in the background to listen to you talk about your matches?”
That question came out of nowhere. For many years Konrad's done videos about his matches, only on two occasions that he had a trainer speak for him, but never really to listen to Konrad in the background everywhere he went. Konrad was taken a bit back with the question.
Konrad Raab: “I didn't expect you to say that, but I guess you being there if I slip up, you can point me in the right direction.”
Jerry Flack: “Partly yes and partly because I want to see your body language up in person when you speak and you have to mean it.”
Konrad Raab: “Yes I do.”
Jerry Flack: “You know what you have to say to everyone on camera later. You know how to approach the match, you just got to do it. You've come so far with the course you've done for the last two weeks. Just believe in yourself you can win the match and you will be successful and wrestlers will see what you're about.”
Konrad Raab: “Then yes, you can listen to me in the background, but one thing I will do though Jerry is apologising for my mistakes in the past.”
This made Jerry shook his head and Konrad says this.
Konrad Raab: “What did I say wrong?”
Jerry Flack: “You don't need to apologise for what you did. You've moved on from that now and I like to think everyone else in the SCW locker room has as well.”
Konrad Raab: “I feel like I come across as an asshole if I didn't apologise.”
Jerry Flack: “Has anybody apologised for their past mistakes in SCW?”
Konrad Raab: “No.
Jerry Flack: “See, you aren't an asshole. Sometimes, you have to be happy with yourself and you shouldn't dwell too much on the past cos you'd be miserable. Think about Dustin Adams and what he's done as of late. He took part in the rumble so I suggest yo.......”
Konrad Raab: “I have done that on Saturday. I had to catch up with what I missed on top of learning more than I know about Dustin Adams. I got this.”
Jerry nods as it does seem like although he saw Konrad easily going back his own ways with what he says, it totally didn't take him that long to wake up and feel that although Jerry knew Konrad was usually realistic about his goals, it wasn't going to affect him and that he had to do something to change as he says this.
Jerry Flack: “I suggest you visualise what you'll say and in a way do to Dustin Adams. You have to mean it as well though, but be in that mind frame of visualising nothing, but yourself and getting that win without the negativity ego. Be positive and confident is the goal to winning the match.”
Konrad Raab: “I got you. If you excuse me, Jerry, I want to talk to my wife alone as I need to tell her I got here safe since she's a little bit insecure right now after giving birth.”
Jerry Flack: “Yeah, I heard about that, congratulations and of course you can have time to talk to your wife. Always important to keep family close to you. Just knock on my door at number 321 before you start recording your video.”
Konrad Raab: “I will don't worry. Thank you for wanting to help me to not go back to my old ways.”
Jerry nods as he stands up with shaking Konrad's hand again as he leaves Konrad's room to go into his own as he liked the guy, he liked how good he was at his job of being a mental trainer and it does beat talking to Fizz about upcoming matches all the time, especially in a state where she gave birth to two boys over the weekend. Of course, once he's done talking to Fizz online and seeing his newborn sons online, he sets up his laptop to talk but goes to knock on Jerry's room door before he comes and sits well in the background and Konrad talks for the very first time since the match against Katie Steward.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Changes are a very good thing youtube.com shoot (On Camera)
“Sometimes in life, even for someone like me, you have to do what you need to do and for me, not being in that rumble I thought at the time was the best decision for me, although now I'd say it was stupid because things have changed massively since that last match I had against Katie. You see me sitting here with a smile on my face because I got the help I needed with my mentality and even got guidance now to not go back to my old patterns and I'm not gonna go backwards ever again.
You can say whatever you want to the old Konrad who wasn't confident and had no future, go ahead and see if I care because I don't. It may took me time to fully understand how to be happy and to be a bit more selfish and being all about myself, trust me, it took me until the two days before I left to understand that, but it has helped me more than I thought.
That's gonna be the first quest of this match is proving to each one of you that you're seeing a whole new Konrad here who will wrestle Dustin Adams with confidence and aggression because those are the things along with pressure I had was what I was lacking. Of course, it's going up against somebody who's associated with Andrew Raynes where me going down the wrong path began.
But that's all in the past because I now know and understand that a lot of you hate me because I rarely ever believed in myself. That will change trust me right now because I've never been excited or happy to return to fight again, having a lot of unfinished business. I know all of you are focused on Rise To Greatness, but that's not my focus, my focus is actually to capture that win from you Dustin.
Other than what you've seen in the past, there's nothing for you to expose me with anymore because I could give a damn what you'll point out to me what I already know. However as always and that's something that won't change is viewing you as a threat because I saw what you did in the rumble and against Nostalgia and you showed a massive amount of strength and power in those matches, heck even making a name for yourself and those matches are perfect.
Dustin, I saw what you did and even heard what you had to say towards Nostalgia and I wasn't impressed at all on what you said to him at all, being a big powerful guy and that's something I will take note of, but your speed is going to cost you this match with me because I may have been away from SCW for sometime, but I have no ring rust because while I was in a mental training course, I actually did wrestle for a few matches, mostly because I'm in a tournament at the moment, but that's not the point.
Point is that you are just like everyone else, wanting to hurt people and crush them like bugs like nobody really wants to stand out anymore. I don't want to hurt people because I don't need to and I don't need to be brutal with my words to sound tough, I will do everything in my power to expose the weaknesses you've shown a bit in your recent matches and encounter them, especially giving Andrew something to cry about on me being the first guy to defeat you because it will happen.
It will happen because I'm pretty motivated in believing in myself to doing so and I know what you said about me was towards the old Konrad who no longer exists because I'm gonna be the one who will remove your devastation, ruthless, brutal power you somehow need to get yourself up there when in reality, it will only get you so far.
It's what I believe in and tomorrow night in Mexico, you will see who this new packaged Konrad is all about when I will beat you in the middle of the ring, pinning you for the three count because I'm doing this for me, myself and I, along with of course making the fans go home happy for me to believe in my own morals and being the first guy to stop a monster in his tracks and overcome the power to win this match.
Because that's how things are going to be from now on, especially what I've learned over the last two weeks I was in the course. Just watch out and I know Andrew and Dylan can easily ruin the match and Dylan assisting me to win, but I don't want his help, nor to get involved in their squabble for the title win, I want to start things right on winning the match and I will prove that to you. Prepare to be Iceinated by The Iceman tomorrow night in Mexico with me leaving the country and SCW with my hand raised and being the guy who showed everyone in the SCW locker room and for myself that I've changed my overall attitude for my matches.”
Once in a while in the business, at least one wrestler in the business have gone downhill with their performances or even their lack of focus of doing their job in the ring, but none of them would go for the option of rebuilding another company in his hometown and helping another wrestler get better which it does seem Konrad's always happier helping out other wrestlers to get them somewhere. Sure he lost the match, but it benefited his opponent more than him and that made him very happy.
Although Fizz knew in the long run that's not something he really should be doing in the wrestling business, especially when Fizz had some news about the course he was on two years ago, knowing Konrad had gone completely backwards, although the guy on the phone wanted to talk to Konrad directly, he wasn't in America so of course, it leads for Fizz to talk to him, although she was going downhill herself with her pregnancy as of late on being sick and tired a lot.
It took a long while before Konrad opened the door and came in the house with a smile on his face which he hadn't smiled apart from when he was with his kids for a very long time. He goes to the kitchen and gives Fizz a kiss which caught her off guard as they sit in the kitchen together and she speaks.
Fizz Raab: “You're happy to see me?”
Konrad Raab: “Actually I am and it makes me proud to say this. I'm actually happy with how the match turned out with Xavier Reid. It was a match I clearly needed to do something I've not done for a very long time.”
Fizz Raab: “I did watch the match and both of you tore the house down, almost like I'm seeing another Konrad compared to the one I saw when he fought Katie Steward and I can't say I blame you for feeling like that.”
Konrad went silent all of a sudden as anything regarding the stuff he done in SCW just caused him to go downhill with himself, being ashamed to react how he did and knew he couldn't go back for two weeks and needed to gather himself together, although he nods with what she said and he sighed to say this.
Konrad Raab: “I need help.”
Fizz Raab: “I know you do. Funny enough, I got news regarding that.”
Konrad Raab: “You found a sports psychologist?”
Fizz Raab: “Not exactly, but some guy called me up earlier this morning to ask for you. I said you weren't home or in the country, but they practically told me to tell you that you still not completed the mental training course you started two years ago and they know you've rocked bottom when it comes to SCW business.”
Konrad Raab: “Oh yeah, I literally forgot I was there. I don't know why. Are you saying that they said they want me to go back?”
Fizz Raab: “Yes and they want you there tomorrow afternoon. I got your flight tickets to Orlando, Florida and got their address for you in case you forgot where the place was and they said your mental training starts once again on Wednesday for a discussion before going through with training.”
There it was, the confirmation of rather Fizz finding someone to help Konrad out with his mental training side of things, they came to him or at least came to Fizz to tell Konrad to go back to finish what he hadn't completed two years ago. Although he knew the friends he had would've improved and left the course now, there was plenty of things to be fixed with Konrad's mentality being the major weakness of his wrestling.
Konrad Raab: “Well, I guess I go and get myself packed up to go right now.”
Fizz Raab: “Or leave it until tomorrow morning since you don't have to fly until three in the afternoon and spend time with your wife before you leave.”
Konrad Raab: “Sounds like a good idea. You're right, there's no rush for me to unpack and pack again. It's good they told you I needed to go back as there was a lot of things I didn't talk to them about due to lack of time and that would honestly be better than going to a mental hospital as I get a bit more freedom compared to there.”
Fizz Raab: “Indeed you do. Let's spend time together upstairs.”
That's exactly what they did as they left the kitchen to go straight upstairs and into their bedroom for some loving time together they had for four hours before the sounds dropped since they both fell asleep right away, although Fizz knew she would find it tough for Konrad to go away for a couple of weeks to do a lot of training to prepare for what he's about to go through these next few days.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Mental weakness discussions. Orlando, Florida. Wednesday 6th June. (Off Camera)
Nothing happened on the first day other than being told the rules of the place and any questions he has, although he wasn't feeling the idea of being here for the next few weeks, but he knew if it was going to benefit him to get his mental training in order, this was the perfect place for it where it's far more open to doing anything than a mental hospital would. He did, however, recognise the boss of the place right away as he was still there and he predicted the friends he had on the course left due to their overall improvement.
It was only eight in the morning and Konrad not long just had breakfast with other guys that were on the same course as him and in the same sport as him as well, but he was feeling the sense of being down in the dumps, being ashamed to know he needed help and to check himself in the mental training course as the boss Neil Stubbles looks at Konrad and he speaks.
Neil Stubbles: “You've slipped backwards.”
Konrad Raab: “I know and I need all the help I can get to not keep going back like I always do.”
Neil Stubbles: “I looked at your matches against Andrew Raynes and Katie Steward and you really don't seem to be yourself. Heck, you stated you missed a few shows. Is there something I don't know about you?”
Konrad Raab: “Yes there is.”
Neil Stubbles: “OK so what is it that I don't know about you. We know about your weaknesses, I've seen it, but we need to know what's going on to help you improve the entire time you're on this course.”
Konrad Raab: “I'm scared of being a failure. I'm scared of being in high-pressure matches and I always fucking scared of losing.”
That was something that had been taken completely wide open, Neil had no idea of Konrad being scared of being in high-pressure matches, being a failure and losing matches. Of course, the way he has watched his videos has had those signs, but Neil wanted Konrad to say it as he writes down in the list of notes what exactly to do on improving on those things.
Neil Stubbles: “It's good you've told me because I don't think in any videos you've done for SCW you've mentioned none of that. I also know the other side of what we really need to work you on and possibly being one of the most important things along with dealing with losses and pressure is you being more selfish and doing things just for you.”
Konrad Raab: “I don't understand.”
Neil Stubbles: “Look, in life Konrad, you need to make yourself happy and the only way you can do that is by being more selfish, doing things that will benefit you. That's why you have no confidence or the sense of will to complete tasks cos you're more concerned about making everyone else happy.”
This was one of the hardest things Konrad had to understand and he still doesn't because it wasn't the sort of thing he ever wants to resort to, he never wanted to be somebody he's not. It got him down pretty bad as Neil saw it, he saw that Konrad wasn't somebody he had met when it came down to wrestlers in the business. Konrad took a lot of time to take things on the chin, especially with something like that.
Konrad Raab: “It's who I am sir. I can't help it when I help other people before myself. I feel like a piece of shit when I put myself first. I hate being selfish and most importantly, I hate feeling the sense of having an ego which many people say I need to do more, but when I said those things to Andrew, I was disgusted by it.”
Neil Stubbles: “There are positive and negative ways of having an ego. You need to figure that out on your own along with the training we are going to help you do and trust me, you're gonna go through a huge amount of hell when you're here because it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I just think the entire time you've been wrestling, you've never ever had anybody telling you this sport is about the mental side of things.”
Konrad Raab: “Or I've got this worry of going back to how I was when I started my wrestling career which you know all about and I don't want to be a drunken, disrespectful, mouthy idiot I was, that's something I refuse to ever go back to because it leads me down the wrong path, even to a point of me not being allowed to be in the sport.”
Neil Stubbles: “I do know that's down to your lack of experience, but if you even thought about going down the wrong path, that's something to be worked on as well. We can easily cope with all of those vital things you need to get you into a better place during the time you're here.”
He felt a bit happier, although was really nervous on the amount of hell he knows he'll have to go through, it was better than going back to SCW and doing the same stuff he did before, he needed to change and Neil knew it. Of course, there was something on his mind about a company he has to wrestle for over in England on Fridays as he speaks.
Konrad Raab: “Problem I have is that I have to wrestle in Rebellion Pro which is based in Manchester, England on Fridays.”
Neil Stubbles: “That won't be a problem, trust me because we've encountered many things like this and we always make sure we arrange somebody to go to those events with you so we can't start today because you've only come here last night and on top of what you told me, no point starting things when you got to leave tomorrow, but on Saturday however, you're gonna go through hell and that's when training begins.”
Konrad Raab: “Is that something that can be arranged?”
Neil Stubbles: “Yes very easily, but you let me take care of that and you go back to your room and write down things in life that make you happy in and out of wrestling and take a long time to think about it and I want to see those list of things by eight tonight.”
Konrad Raab: “That sounds good. However, I want to request that when I leave this place, I would also like for you guys to arrange me a mental trainer who can accompany me to my SCW matches to keep my head straight basically and not go backwards.”
Neil Stubbles: “That can be arranged as well and it already seems so promising you really need and most importantly want to change. I see you on Saturday when the mental tasks begin and you'll do quite a bit of writing as well. We'll talk more about that later though.”
Konrad nods as he gets up and leaves the office right away to go straight into the room he was assigned to and takes a lot of time to think what in life in and out of wrestling on things that generally make him happy. By two in the afternoon he had only written six things about himself and then he sighs.
Konrad Raab: “How do I take time to think about myself? I see more about other wrestlers and my family than me. I know Neil would likely be mad at me later for not thinking much about what makes me happy I've done for myself, but I can't complete this, I can't think of anything great about myself I've done to make me happy and be positive about myself.”
Which in the world of SCW, there wasn't anything Konrad could think of that he actually did something for himself, but he did manage to write a bit more, but there were clear signs of the task being so difficult for him. His head wasn't even in a good space right now and instead of being happy, he lies on his bed and starts crying because he hadn't been happy with anything he's done for months in SCW.
When eight in the night came around, Neil knew Konrad had failed, it was clear as day as he didn't even arrive in the office and even when the other guys came in to try and comfort Konrad who he shared the room with was to no effect, Neil who asked one of the boys where he came in and sees Konrad crying a lot as he says this after taking a quick look at the list Konrad wrote
Neil Stubbles: “Hey, relax dude. I know you feel you've failed, but it's fine. I didn't say you had to write a lot, but I see signs that you never seem to be happy with yourself and the achievements you've done. What about the time when you attacked Har Megiddo and Damien Angel all on your own without anybody having the guts to do that? That's something positive there for you and I reckon you did that for yourself and you were happier for it.”
Konrad Raab: “Yeah, but what else have I done that I've been proud of in SCW? There's nothing, nothing I really truly felt happy with that I've done for myself.”
Neil Stubbles: “It helped a lot to know more about you. I mean last time you came here, we barely knew anything about you, but today has made me realise that you need a ton of help and we can get you there. I also got someone arranged for you to go to England for your matches on Fridays. You really are a kind and caring guy. Not many wrestlers have that.”
That made Konrad a bit happier that Neil saw Konrad's strength was being a helpful and caring guy. He knew that and he knew that Konrad had improved a lot with his skills overtime since two years ago as well so it wasn't the psychical part of Konrad that needed working on at all. Konrad was suddenly happier that Neil talking to him made him better and he sees Konrad smiling.
Neil Stubbles: “That's better. See, these guys are in the same situation as yourself and they tried to help you. Trust in them because their support can really help you get through this course, although I need guys to be mean towards you because you're not good at dealing with heat you get. You also are allowed to use Twitter as well while you're here, but only for fifteen minutes. I leave you alone for now and see you on Saturday.”
Neil takes the paper Konrad done with the things that make him happy and leaves Konrad's room as one thing he was glad about being here is the benefit of doing things none of the other mental facilities would allow him to do, use Twitter to talk to people, even though it was for fifteen minutes, but certainly was better than nothing as he knows he's in a whole world of hell for the next two weeks and he really felt a bit more at home with the other guys chatting to Konrad and even interacting with them with playing board games and getting used to one another. The curfew was eleven at night as the alarms went off and everyone went to bed to sleep.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Meeting his mental trainer for the first time. Mexico City, Mexico. Tuesday 26th June. (Off Camera)
Yesterday afternoon while preparing to go to Mexico, he received a text from his mental training course boss to say they've set up a mental trainer for him as he requested the day of the meeting because of his worry of slipping up after he left to continue on his SCW run. They requested that he and the mental trainer to meet up in the hotel lobby and that he'll always be with Konrad at the SCW shows and house show events he may do during his return run to things.
So he texted them back as they asked what hotel was he staying in Mexico and he mentioned where he was staying and said to meet in the hotel lobby when he was ready. He got to the hotel and got himself checked in before he goes in the lift to his room and places his stuff down as it wasn't something he wanted to do before meeting up with the mental trainer. However he did go out of his room again and went back into the lift to go back to the reception area, but he goes past it to where the hotel lobby was.
He saw a man who was in his late thirties with a bald head and looking pretty big for a mental trainer sitting on the armchair, waiting for someone and the guy noticed Konrad straight away as he says this.
Mental trainer: “You must be Konrad.”
Konrad Raab: “Yes I am, nice to meet you.”
Mental trainer: “Same here. I'm Jerry Flack, the mental trainer you requested.”
Konrad Raab: “Let's go and talk business in my hotel room because in case an SCW star hears us as I want to hide this as much as I can.”
Jerry Flack: “Good idea.”
Jerry stands up and shakes Konrad's hand of them dealing with new business together, doing things he dreams to do with Konrad's future in SCW looking as of right now very bleak and Konrad knew this was the best situation to take with proper guidance that would not make him go backwards and the way he was before going in the mental training course. They took the lift up to Konrad's room and Konrad allowed Jerry in before closing the door as they sat down on the chairs they had in Konrad's room and he speaks.
Konrad Raab: “So, where you staying?”
Jerry Flack: “I'm just a few doors down from you as I made sure I was on the same level as you.”
Konrad Raab: “Anyway let's get down to it mate. You see, I'm going to be facing against a guy who's associated with the Adrenaline champion who made my life hell and where things turned for the worse, Dustin Adams.”
Jerry Flack: “I know, I'm aware of what went down, but you know where you went wrong of how you took the loss really bad like you didn't want to bother.”
Konrad Raab: “Problem is I know many SCW stars don't want to see me back and honestly after upsetting them like I did, I can't blame them.”
Jerry was, of course, aware of the issues Konrad caused, but this was why Konrad needed Jerry's help to get him to be a lot more positive and reminding him of his confidence which was certainly needed. Konrad was aware of the Rise To Greatness PPV coming up but wasn't focused about that as of right now as Jerry says this.
Jerry Flack: “Remember everything you've learnt in the course to not put yourself down. OK you need to always be positive and you know how to handle losses now, don't you?”
Konrad Raab: “Yes.”
Jerry Flack: “What do you do when you lose a match?”
Konrad Raab: “Learn from my mistakes, pick myself back up and try again until I win.”
Jerry Flack: “Exactly.”
Of course, it was only quite a small talk with the pair of them so far, but they've only just met each other for the first time and there wasn't much to say about his opponent other than being on his side to assist Andrew Raynes with the problems he has with Dylan as of right now and Jerry says this.
Jerry Flack: “This guy outweighs you a lot and he's gonna be focused all on pure power. That's when you're advantage of your speed will come into play. Dustin will say a lot of bad things about your past, but what do you do if he does?”
Konrad Raab: “Ignore it.”
Jerry Flack: “Not just ignore it, but not giving a shit about it. You need to remember to be happy and doing this match for yourself. Not for anybody else, but you.”
Konrad Raab: “Trust me, I understand now how much this match means to me. Of course, it won't mean anything for my opponent, although I'm aware I'm the second opponent he's fought, while some could say I've had ring rust, we know that's not true with me wrestling in Rebellion Pro and Quag Cup recently.”
Jerry Flack: “Do you mind also I just sit in the background to listen to you talk about your matches?”
That question came out of nowhere. For many years Konrad's done videos about his matches, only on two occasions that he had a trainer speak for him, but never really to listen to Konrad in the background everywhere he went. Konrad was taken a bit back with the question.
Konrad Raab: “I didn't expect you to say that, but I guess you being there if I slip up, you can point me in the right direction.”
Jerry Flack: “Partly yes and partly because I want to see your body language up in person when you speak and you have to mean it.”
Konrad Raab: “Yes I do.”
Jerry Flack: “You know what you have to say to everyone on camera later. You know how to approach the match, you just got to do it. You've come so far with the course you've done for the last two weeks. Just believe in yourself you can win the match and you will be successful and wrestlers will see what you're about.”
Konrad Raab: “Then yes, you can listen to me in the background, but one thing I will do though Jerry is apologising for my mistakes in the past.”
This made Jerry shook his head and Konrad says this.
Konrad Raab: “What did I say wrong?”
Jerry Flack: “You don't need to apologise for what you did. You've moved on from that now and I like to think everyone else in the SCW locker room has as well.”
Konrad Raab: “I feel like I come across as an asshole if I didn't apologise.”
Jerry Flack: “Has anybody apologised for their past mistakes in SCW?”
Konrad Raab: “No.
Jerry Flack: “See, you aren't an asshole. Sometimes, you have to be happy with yourself and you shouldn't dwell too much on the past cos you'd be miserable. Think about Dustin Adams and what he's done as of late. He took part in the rumble so I suggest yo.......”
Konrad Raab: “I have done that on Saturday. I had to catch up with what I missed on top of learning more than I know about Dustin Adams. I got this.”
Jerry nods as it does seem like although he saw Konrad easily going back his own ways with what he says, it totally didn't take him that long to wake up and feel that although Jerry knew Konrad was usually realistic about his goals, it wasn't going to affect him and that he had to do something to change as he says this.
Jerry Flack: “I suggest you visualise what you'll say and in a way do to Dustin Adams. You have to mean it as well though, but be in that mind frame of visualising nothing, but yourself and getting that win without the negativity ego. Be positive and confident is the goal to winning the match.”
Konrad Raab: “I got you. If you excuse me, Jerry, I want to talk to my wife alone as I need to tell her I got here safe since she's a little bit insecure right now after giving birth.”
Jerry Flack: “Yeah, I heard about that, congratulations and of course you can have time to talk to your wife. Always important to keep family close to you. Just knock on my door at number 321 before you start recording your video.”
Konrad Raab: “I will don't worry. Thank you for wanting to help me to not go back to my old ways.”
Jerry nods as he stands up with shaking Konrad's hand again as he leaves Konrad's room to go into his own as he liked the guy, he liked how good he was at his job of being a mental trainer and it does beat talking to Fizz about upcoming matches all the time, especially in a state where she gave birth to two boys over the weekend. Of course, once he's done talking to Fizz online and seeing his newborn sons online, he sets up his laptop to talk but goes to knock on Jerry's room door before he comes and sits well in the background and Konrad talks for the very first time since the match against Katie Steward.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Changes are a very good thing youtube.com shoot (On Camera)
“Sometimes in life, even for someone like me, you have to do what you need to do and for me, not being in that rumble I thought at the time was the best decision for me, although now I'd say it was stupid because things have changed massively since that last match I had against Katie. You see me sitting here with a smile on my face because I got the help I needed with my mentality and even got guidance now to not go back to my old patterns and I'm not gonna go backwards ever again.
You can say whatever you want to the old Konrad who wasn't confident and had no future, go ahead and see if I care because I don't. It may took me time to fully understand how to be happy and to be a bit more selfish and being all about myself, trust me, it took me until the two days before I left to understand that, but it has helped me more than I thought.
That's gonna be the first quest of this match is proving to each one of you that you're seeing a whole new Konrad here who will wrestle Dustin Adams with confidence and aggression because those are the things along with pressure I had was what I was lacking. Of course, it's going up against somebody who's associated with Andrew Raynes where me going down the wrong path began.
But that's all in the past because I now know and understand that a lot of you hate me because I rarely ever believed in myself. That will change trust me right now because I've never been excited or happy to return to fight again, having a lot of unfinished business. I know all of you are focused on Rise To Greatness, but that's not my focus, my focus is actually to capture that win from you Dustin.
Other than what you've seen in the past, there's nothing for you to expose me with anymore because I could give a damn what you'll point out to me what I already know. However as always and that's something that won't change is viewing you as a threat because I saw what you did in the rumble and against Nostalgia and you showed a massive amount of strength and power in those matches, heck even making a name for yourself and those matches are perfect.
Dustin, I saw what you did and even heard what you had to say towards Nostalgia and I wasn't impressed at all on what you said to him at all, being a big powerful guy and that's something I will take note of, but your speed is going to cost you this match with me because I may have been away from SCW for sometime, but I have no ring rust because while I was in a mental training course, I actually did wrestle for a few matches, mostly because I'm in a tournament at the moment, but that's not the point.
Point is that you are just like everyone else, wanting to hurt people and crush them like bugs like nobody really wants to stand out anymore. I don't want to hurt people because I don't need to and I don't need to be brutal with my words to sound tough, I will do everything in my power to expose the weaknesses you've shown a bit in your recent matches and encounter them, especially giving Andrew something to cry about on me being the first guy to defeat you because it will happen.
It will happen because I'm pretty motivated in believing in myself to doing so and I know what you said about me was towards the old Konrad who no longer exists because I'm gonna be the one who will remove your devastation, ruthless, brutal power you somehow need to get yourself up there when in reality, it will only get you so far.
It's what I believe in and tomorrow night in Mexico, you will see who this new packaged Konrad is all about when I will beat you in the middle of the ring, pinning you for the three count because I'm doing this for me, myself and I, along with of course making the fans go home happy for me to believe in my own morals and being the first guy to stop a monster in his tracks and overcome the power to win this match.
Because that's how things are going to be from now on, especially what I've learned over the last two weeks I was in the course. Just watch out and I know Andrew and Dylan can easily ruin the match and Dylan assisting me to win, but I don't want his help, nor to get involved in their squabble for the title win, I want to start things right on winning the match and I will prove that to you. Prepare to be Iceinated by The Iceman tomorrow night in Mexico with me leaving the country and SCW with my hand raised and being the guy who showed everyone in the SCW locker room and for myself that I've changed my overall attitude for my matches.”