Post by Konrad Raab on Sept 12, 2019 9:43:11 GMT
Learning more about his childhood years/Discovery on Luca's friend. Las Vegas, Nevada. Friday 23rd August (Off-Camera)
It's been two months the last time Konrad saw a mental health doctor who didn't get back to Konrad when he tried to contact the other guy he saw. But it was only a few days ago that he was in contact with someone who knows Konrad's childhood years very well, someone who had been Konrad's doctor back in Germany, known as Doctor Schneider. Schneider was in his early seventies now and had been living in America for many years.
Konrad was sitting in the waiting room outside of the mental facility in Las Vegas, a place called Alliance Mental Health Specialists. Konrad's shaking, biting his nails, gripping his throat, swallowing rapidly, looking at the floor. He was already searched for weapons and had everything, but his masks taken from him. He's dressed in white overalls, and it looks almost like the place he was in New York, with white walls and some art pictures of rivers and buildings in Vegas.
As Konrad was looking on the floor, shaking like crazy, Doctor Schneider came out of his office after doing a lot of paperwork as he sees a visibly shaken Konrad Raab as Schneider crouches down to him and says this.
Doctor Schneider: "Come with me. We'll go somewhere a lot more secure."
Konrad lifted his head up and still shaken of being inside of a mental facility, he stands up and takes a plodding walk as Konrad places his head down, still shaking because he was so terrified and Schneider sees clearly how scared he was, and he says this.
Doctor Schneider: "I know what's been going on with your life, and that's what we'll talk about."
Konrad shook his head as Schneider tries to remember the notes the doctor he was passed onto as Schneider reaches the room he and Konrad were going to be in. He reads the notes and remembers now, and he says this while watching Konrad strolling with his body shaking all over the place.
Doctor Schneider: "Take a few deep breaths."
Konrad Raab: "I'm frightened of these places."
Doctor Schneider: "I understand, but we haven't got all day. Just walk a bit faster; you aren't far from where we're going now."
It took Konrad a bit of time to relax, which he eventually does as Doctor Schneider waits for him to come. He kept the door open as he prepares Konrad in a room where it's completely white with table, chairs, some cupboards, cabinets and a sink. Schneider places his paperwork of Konrad's mental health and his records Schneider kept in Germany on the table before Schneider opens the cupboard underneath the sink to find a lot of plastic cups and a jug. He picks up two cups and the jug and closes the cupboard and then turns the sink on to pour some water in the cups. He places both cups on the table for himself and for Konrad to drink.
Konrad eventually came in, and Schneider with all paperwork in front of him gets up and closes the door as Konrad pulls the masks out to lay in front of Schneider which he nods, and he says this as Konrad's standing still visibly shaken as Schneider says this.
Doctor Schneider: "Please take a seat Konrad, we got a lot to talk about."
Konrad nods as still shaking; he sits down as he takes the cup and drinks majority of it as he breaths as a sigh of relief. At least Konrad saw the doctor he recognises from his past, especially a lot of information, written in German and information from the last doctor he saw in New York who can't be named for various of reasons. Schneider takes a close look at the masks and reads the notes about the masks. As he does, Konrad sighs in relief and says something.
Konrad Raab: "I'm so glad to get help again as I need a doctor to talk to."
Doctor Schneider: "I'm aware, and it's why I had the previous doctor to transfer stuff to me because unlike him, I know everything about you as a kid and things you never know about yourself. I know you're frightened and uncertain still, but you trust me, right?"
Konrad Raab: "Yes."
Doctor Schneider: "The previous doctor is right, you have a Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have to tell you, you've had it since you were eight years old."
Konrad Raab: "Why didn't my mother tell me?"
Doctor Schneider: "Because she was worried how you'd react to the news. She knew about it as I phoned her on why and she was frightened you'd do something bad to her which you have in the past."
Konrad Raab: "I just as well want to forget it too."
The mention of him attacking his mother shook Konrad as Schneider wasn't lying, he had assaulted his mother in the past, mostly with the Black Ice mask as he holds it up to show Schneider and explains it while he shakes his head continuously, rapidly.
Konrad Raab: "This is the mask I attacked her with, and it's not just my mother who got attacked, my wife as well. My wife Fizz, she's terrified of getting anywhere near me at times because she's worried I'll explode and beat her because I accidentality leave the masks on. I've had to be on Rapid Eye Movement tablets to stop myself from attacking her in my sleep cos trust me, I've had a lot of violent dreams. I still get them now."
Doctor Schneider: "Yes, I'm aware. What the doctor didn't know is because you got mentally abused a lot when you were a kid. You're dad, he was an alcoholic, kept beating you because he knew you wouldn't fight back. He also was a psychopath as well. It was so bad that it caused you to have severe depression. You've tried multiple times as a teenager and in your current life to kill yourself over it."
Konrad Raab: "So you're saying that my anger, my severe depression and my multiple personalities came from my childhood trauma of my dad, continuously beating the living shit out of me and him being a psychopath?"
Doctor Schneider: "Yes."
It occurred to Konrad; he knew a lot more about his dad than he ever did in his past. Some of his personalities came from his dad with the drinking alcohol business and attacking people for no reason. Konrad couldn't hold himself to a point tears are pouring down on the table, feeling scared of himself.
Doctor Schneider: "I'm sorry, but I'm not a doctor who was going to hide the past from you anymore. You needed to know."
Konrad nodded, he did need to know about his past, but he shook his head as Schneider says this, trying to stop crying, but he couldn't deal with the fact his dad beat Konrad so severely.
Doctor Schneider: "There were times when I've had you in my room when you were a child and that you were saying things like, don't call me Konrad, call me the devil because I'm a horrible boy. Then forty-five minutes later, you forget everything you've said."
Konrad wipes the tears of his face, not believing how much his dad caused hell for Konrad when he was a kid. It took a long time for him to sink the thoughts in of his dad being a psychopath of hating Konrad a lot when he was a child. As he stopped crying, he stood up and held the black and dark blue mask again in his hands, and he says this.
Konrad Raab: "That's what I think with this Black Ice mask, only the voice is named Erik. He talks to me and tells me to do things I wouldn't usually do. I also say and do violent things as well. When I wear the mask, I have to get someone psychically to take it off from me. Then I forget what I've said and done until someone tells me."
Doctor Schneider: "That's because you got so badly abused mentally that it came out just like that to protect yourself, to go batshit insane because you didn't seek help for it. Erik has been talking to you for your whole life. You're dad, and Erik told you you're the devil, only now you changed it to The Black Ice. I also know you wear those masks in wrestling to help you to fight against people. It motivates you to wrestle because, without these masks, you can't fight or hit anyone."
There was still a lot to talk about, including Luca's friend, but Schneider hadn't even finished talking about the masks. He wasn't going to talk about the white and blue mask, that was Konrad with and without the mask one hundred per cent, except for the fighting part of things. The red, green and blue mask, that was to be talked about, especially Konrad didn't know much about it two months ago.
Doctor Schneider: "Now this red, green and blue mask, as the previous doctor said, it's teaching you to learn about having balance in your life as well as in wrestling too. Everyone in life has good and evil within them, and I know when the doctor who transferred the stuff to me, he wrote down you have trouble of accepting you can be evil."
Konrad Raab: "I do because I don't want to be."
Doctor Schneider: "That's because nobody has ever spoken to you about having a balance in life. These multiple personalities you have, it's how you function in life as well as in the ring. It will take you time to understand, and it seems like you have no clue about your DID."
Konrad Raab: "None at all and I wasn't even aware of me having it since I was a child. I don't know how to cope with it or what DID is."
Konrad was given a DID leaflet from Schneider which clearly what he needed, especially to show Fizz and even his kids when they grow up too. Of course, Schneider wasn't ready to talk about his kids part yet as it's still very new to Konrad due to him being diagnosed with DID two months ago along with today confirming Konrad had it since he was an eight-year-old boy.
Doctor Schneider: "As for the other problem you're currently having, at least Luca being locked up for life does settle things, and I confirm to you, he is the school bully who also beat you up a lot in the past, but what you don't know and you need answers to is his friend."
Konrad Raab: "I want to know who the other guy is cos right now, all I know from Luca, that bastard is he has a friend, living in the same area as I do and knows where I live. I don't have my kids at home right now as they are with Fizz's dad and I have to bring Fizz everywhere with me to wrestling locations because if I leave her at home, especially right now when she's pregnant, she and the baby can die."
Doctor Schneider: "In the past, your mother reported about the bullying you had at school, and she named Luca, but his other friend is named Drexel. I did some digging around, and I can confirm he's the one living in California, the same area and state as you. I know how close you were on being killed by Luca at a wrestling event."
Konrad Raab: "Yeah, and he said he's going to kill my wife and kids. Even said he'll rape Fizz and place bombs in my house. That's sick."
Doctor Schneider: "You also weren't wearing a mask to fight either from the notes here. I can't imagine how terrified you are and doing everything to make sure your family is safe, but Drexel is going to find out about your kids living with Fizz's dad and knowing the location of him. However, while I can't find a recent picture of him, maybe this picture of him as a teenager might help."
Schneider gives Konrad a picture of Drexel as a teenager as he couldn't even look at it as he wanted to put it straight in his pocket, but Konrad did take a close look as Konrad makes a fist on the table to know precisely at least what he roughly looks like. He places the picture in his pocket, and Konrad does have a question to ask.
Konrad Raab: "It's been on my mind ever since I got letters from Luca, but was he ever friends or had his parents associated with my dad?"
Doctor Schneider: "I hate to tell you, but yes, Luca's dad was close to your dad."
Konrad Raab: "This is bullshit."
Doctor Schneider: "I know it's hard to believe, but it's true."
Konrad continuously shakes his head, it was apparent he was never wanted or loved by his dad, the guy who was meant to protect Konrad, but Konrad seethes through the hatred his dad had on Konrad. If Konrad knew when his dad was alive, he would've done something, especially now.
Konrad Raab: "It showed why he never protected me or wanted to teach me how to fight because he wanted me to suffer and wanted me to die. How am I meant to cope with everything you've told me for my whole life?"
Doctor Schneider: "That's why we're going to continue having this support every week, onwards because from what I've told you, it's freaked you out on top of the other things we've discussed. We'll discuss your feelings of the situation, how you are with the masks on your face and the future of moving forward next week."
It was clear Schneider didn't have time as he was running way overdue the time and it was clear that right now, Konrad needed help, more than ever as he shook his head in shame, to know his dad tried to do everything to kill Konrad, to remove Konrad from his family. It made him so angry that he wasn't able to go straight home. With tears in his eyes on top of shaking because of his anger, while waiting to see someone to get his personal items and his clothes.
Konrad Raab: “What a piece of shit, if he was alive right now, I'll go and destroy him to a point my dad wouldn't ever get up from. I need to destroy something before I go home to Fizz as she can't ever see me like this.”
After Konrad got his things back and changed into his regular clothes, Konrad drove straight to a gym in California to let out all the anger he had about his dad with his gloves which he eventually did four hours later. He walked out of the gym, being so out of breath before he got in his car to go back home.
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A day after the announcement of receiving an SCW World title match. Anaheim, California. Thursday 29th August (Off-Camera)
It was a day after the title match announcement, and Konrad had been speechless, his body being completely frozen and tears willing up due to how happy he was as he not long just got home from being in Boston for the Breakdown show. He gives Fizz a massive hug and a kiss on her cheek as he tries to wipe the tears off from his face. He still wasn't able to bring himself to words, even with the smiles and the shock of someone wanting to face him for the SCW World title.
Fizz and Konrad go upstairs as it was ten at night and when they went in the bedroom, Konrad still couldn't bring himself to speak, knowing he's got the biggest match of his entire life coming up. He had been feeling like this on Monday, but this was a more extended silence as Fizz strokes Konrad's shoulder and said something.
Fizz Raab: "I'm so happy for you, getting a title shot. I got to admit; even I didn't see that coming from Alistaire."
Konrad Raab: "Me, either."
Fizz Raab: "Four years ago, you wouldn't even have thought you'd get an SCW World title shot or get anywhere near close to it. Now, you have. It's a great chance for you to shine and show the world how much you want to win. Imagine, you being SCW World Champion after all the odds being stacked against you. I can feel it."
Even now Fizz was in tears of joy for Konrad as Konrad kisses Fizz everywhere on her body before he relaxes, closing his eyes to imagine he's defeated Alistaire Allocco and win the SCW World title. Konrad got out of bed and spun himself all around before he got dizzy and he says this.
Konrad Raab: "Man, that was an awesome rollercoaster ride there."
It was down to how thrilled he was that he finally finds himself in a position to place himself in after four whole years of hard work. His eyes of sparkle say it all with tears pouring down on his eyes still as he wasn't able to believe it and took a long time for him to calm himself down and Fizz still sees his smile and sparkle in his eyes, although still being speechless.
Fizz Raab: "Although in saying that, I do feel, however, you should wear The Rainbow Ice mask. Do you know why? Because in matches like this, you need to be aggressive and you also can show Alistaire what you're made of. He picked you because he knows you won't break the rules or even ask for a title match. He knows you want to earn it and right now, that's what you need to think about."
Konrad Raab: "I have thought a lot about using The Rainbow Ice Mask, not because of letting my anger out, no there's gonna be no anger whatsoever when I face Alistaire when he wants to fight fair, but because of being aggressive. You're right; I need to be aggressive if I have any chance of winning the title. Alistaire will get a clean and fair fight out of me."
Fizz Raab: "Well, I'm glad we agree on something for once. We are all proud of you, heck when our children found out you were going for the World Title, they were so happy for you that they were in tears for you, especially Sebastian. Sebastian keeps asking how did you get a title shot and I said, Alistaire wanted to face Konrad for the title."
Konrad Raab: "Even Alistaire's request alone means a whole damn lot to me. I've never had the pleasure of anyone wanting to face me for a long time, well in a good way, of course. I've already moved on from the da.............."
Fizz Raab: "No, don't talk about that or the other thing. Not the right day for that. Your mind right now is on the title and winning it."
Konrad nods, although still in tears of joy, he laid there, having something on his mind while closing his eyes as he opens them with Fizz placing her arms around Konrad's body and Konrad comes out with what he was thinking.
Konrad Raab: "I won't lie, Fizz, this title match means the whole world to me, but I need to ask you something."
Fizz Raab: "What's that?"
Konrad Raab: "I want to train my ass off, twenty-four hours non-bloody stop. I want to be in the best shape I've ever been in my entire life, and I have to make sure I'm fully prepared for the match, so I want just for one day a week to not sleep, but do nothing, but work out. Please allow me to do that for one day."
Fizz widens her eyes and moves away from Konrad, not believing what he just said. Of course for sure, the match was significant, but that wasn't the correct way to do things, and she shook her head, standing her ground to say this, even with a touch of fear on her face.
Fizz Raab: "Absolutely not."
Konrad Raab: "Why?"
Fizz Raab: "Because you will kill yourself doing that. Do you remember the last time you trained in a gym for twenty-four hours? You were lucky to survive that. I'm not allowing you to risk your body and your health to kill yourself from training so hard. I know you want to, but I won't allow it."
It was understandable, Konrad was hospitalised last time he worked out non stop, although it was because of him not eating, it was apparent Fizz was standing her ground on that, and she sees Konrad sighing because he didn't want to go to the gym twice a week as he says this.
Konrad Raab: "I also do not want to go to the gym twice a week as I do now. I want to go every single day."
Fizz Raab: "Not every day for twenty-four hours you certainly won't because lack of sleep will kill you. You need to get plenty of sleep, plenty of food and plenty to drink too."
Konrad Raab: "But I want to be in the best shape of my life too. I might not ever get another chance like this, and I'm not allowing this opportunity to slip away from me. You know how serious I take title matches in terms of preparation. OK so if that doesn't work, what about I do six hours each day, two hours morning, two hours in the afternoon and two hours at night. Can we agree with that?"
Fizz Raab: "Yes, we can. I will allow you to train every single day, providing that you come home and not spending more than two hours each certain part of the day. Don't you even dare to break my promise and do twenty-four-hour gym work because I don't want you to scare the living shit out of me like that ever again. I know you need to prepare the best you can. I also will help you to get the best diet you possibly can for the match as well."
It was another thing Konrad had always been strict about, especially title matches was his diet. Of course, he still was trying to get over the trauma about his dad making Konrad suffer his whole life, but the title match distracted him big time as it wasn't even on his mind for today as he's so over the moon as he says this.
Konrad Raab: "Yes, my diet. I want to go on the cutting weight diet again. Nothing is going to get in the way of me being in my best psychical and mental shape of my life. I will also take time to do some colouring in as apart of my mental preparation as well as psychical. This match is no joke; this is something I must and will take seriously. I need to be completely focused and show Alistaire and everyone who doubts me what I can do in the ring."
Fizz Raab: "Indeed and you're going to win because you've got the biggest heart and passion for this sport. You're scary when you're so focused like you scared the hell out of me when you wanted to train for twenty-four hours non stop, I forget that it's because of your focus."
Konrad Raab: "Yes, sorry about that. It's who I am as a wrestler, and it's one of those situations I have to push myself a lot harder than I've ever pushed in my entire life. As you said, right now, I need to get plenty of sleep as I've done six hours of gym work today and will continue to, until Wednesday. I love you so much."
Fizz Raab: "I love you too, future SCW World Champion."
Konrad had a massive smile on his face when Fizz said he was a future world champion as she got up from her bed and turned the lights off along with the door being closed as although Konrad did want to go to sleep, Fizz had other ideas which Konrad went along with. They did lovemaking for an hour before Konrad heads straight off to sleep, while Fizz watches a bit of TV before she turns it off and falls asleep three hours later.
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The Iced Rainbow Konrad Raab side: The most important match of my life youtube.com shoot. (On-Camera)
"Wow, I'm shocked I'm in this position right now to get a title shot against Alistaire Allocco. All I can say right now is thank you, thank you for allowing me to prove myself I'm more than capable of being a World Champion here in SCW. I never thought four years ago, or even recently, I'd be standing here, receiving an opportunity of a lifetime.
I have nothing, but a tremendous amount of respect for you, Alistaire. You always want to do things within the rules without cheating. You know how much I'm a big fan of you doing so because nothing you've said was a lie. You've won Taking Hold Of The Flame Rumble which is not an easy task to do, on top of that, you defeated Syren for the SCW World title. I was over the moon when you beat the least passionate champion I've ever seen in SCW, but now, SCW has a proud champion that we all can root and support, including myself.
Now Alistaire, I know what you're thinking, why am I wearing the Rainbow Ice Mask. I will promise you one thing, I will keep my anger in control, you'll get the best prepared Konrad Raab you'll ever see, but there's one reason why I'm wearing this mask, aggression.
Being aggressive is the primary key for me to defeat you in the ring. People might call you out for being naïve, but there's nothing wrong with that. This opportunity you requested against me, means the whole fucking world to me. I was in tears of joy because I never been happier to get something like this. You will get Iced Rainbow fighting fairly and doing everything he can to beat you. I may get very aggressive in the match, but that's because I want to win so very badly.
You have no idea how much I've wanted to win this title, and I've not talked about it enough, but I do want to be on top of the ladder, I do want to be the top wrestler in SCW. I don't believe in the term best, but I believe I've learnt the one thing you seem to deny, having balance in life and the ring as well. Let's face it; it took me a long time to realise we all have good and evil sides to us, including yourself.
You damn right Alistaire, we're going to put a show on in front of these fans and the wrestlers in the back, even if I'm going to be way more aggressive because I know these opportunities don't come every single day and I promise you, we'll tear the house down, pushing ourselves to the extreme limits, more than I've ever had to before, especially I've been training six hours each day, and I've been eating certain foods to be in the best shape I can be in just to face you.
I've been on one heck of a roller-coaster ride this week, and it took me a long while to sink in how much this means to me. I will show you in the ring just precisely how much I'm willing to punish my body and myself in the ring with aggression to show you how badly I want to win and I believe in myself to say I can win because anything can happen in SCW and the time for The Iced Rainbow to make his mark on being a top wrestler in the company starts tomorrow.
Tomorrow night right here in Toronto, Canada, I will do everything to pin you in the ring with a pinfall, but all within the rules and fairly, exactly how you want it to go because I've been working for four years to get this far and once I hit my Ice Storm finisher, I won't waste time to pin you for the three count because I'm so bloody motivated to win and I won't stop until I've accomplished my goal.
Once I'm announced I'm the new SCW World Champion, I will go on my knees, kiss the belt and tears will come from my eyes because all of the hard work I've been doing in this ring for four years will be worth it and my aggression and passion will pay off. Alistaire Allocco, prepare to be Iceinated by the new SCW World Champion. Good luck, my respected competitor and may the top man win."
It's been two months the last time Konrad saw a mental health doctor who didn't get back to Konrad when he tried to contact the other guy he saw. But it was only a few days ago that he was in contact with someone who knows Konrad's childhood years very well, someone who had been Konrad's doctor back in Germany, known as Doctor Schneider. Schneider was in his early seventies now and had been living in America for many years.
Konrad was sitting in the waiting room outside of the mental facility in Las Vegas, a place called Alliance Mental Health Specialists. Konrad's shaking, biting his nails, gripping his throat, swallowing rapidly, looking at the floor. He was already searched for weapons and had everything, but his masks taken from him. He's dressed in white overalls, and it looks almost like the place he was in New York, with white walls and some art pictures of rivers and buildings in Vegas.
As Konrad was looking on the floor, shaking like crazy, Doctor Schneider came out of his office after doing a lot of paperwork as he sees a visibly shaken Konrad Raab as Schneider crouches down to him and says this.
Doctor Schneider: "Come with me. We'll go somewhere a lot more secure."
Konrad lifted his head up and still shaken of being inside of a mental facility, he stands up and takes a plodding walk as Konrad places his head down, still shaking because he was so terrified and Schneider sees clearly how scared he was, and he says this.
Doctor Schneider: "I know what's been going on with your life, and that's what we'll talk about."
Konrad shook his head as Schneider tries to remember the notes the doctor he was passed onto as Schneider reaches the room he and Konrad were going to be in. He reads the notes and remembers now, and he says this while watching Konrad strolling with his body shaking all over the place.
Doctor Schneider: "Take a few deep breaths."
Konrad Raab: "I'm frightened of these places."
Doctor Schneider: "I understand, but we haven't got all day. Just walk a bit faster; you aren't far from where we're going now."
It took Konrad a bit of time to relax, which he eventually does as Doctor Schneider waits for him to come. He kept the door open as he prepares Konrad in a room where it's completely white with table, chairs, some cupboards, cabinets and a sink. Schneider places his paperwork of Konrad's mental health and his records Schneider kept in Germany on the table before Schneider opens the cupboard underneath the sink to find a lot of plastic cups and a jug. He picks up two cups and the jug and closes the cupboard and then turns the sink on to pour some water in the cups. He places both cups on the table for himself and for Konrad to drink.
Konrad eventually came in, and Schneider with all paperwork in front of him gets up and closes the door as Konrad pulls the masks out to lay in front of Schneider which he nods, and he says this as Konrad's standing still visibly shaken as Schneider says this.
Doctor Schneider: "Please take a seat Konrad, we got a lot to talk about."
Konrad nods as still shaking; he sits down as he takes the cup and drinks majority of it as he breaths as a sigh of relief. At least Konrad saw the doctor he recognises from his past, especially a lot of information, written in German and information from the last doctor he saw in New York who can't be named for various of reasons. Schneider takes a close look at the masks and reads the notes about the masks. As he does, Konrad sighs in relief and says something.
Konrad Raab: "I'm so glad to get help again as I need a doctor to talk to."
Doctor Schneider: "I'm aware, and it's why I had the previous doctor to transfer stuff to me because unlike him, I know everything about you as a kid and things you never know about yourself. I know you're frightened and uncertain still, but you trust me, right?"
Konrad Raab: "Yes."
Doctor Schneider: "The previous doctor is right, you have a Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have to tell you, you've had it since you were eight years old."
Konrad Raab: "Why didn't my mother tell me?"
Doctor Schneider: "Because she was worried how you'd react to the news. She knew about it as I phoned her on why and she was frightened you'd do something bad to her which you have in the past."
Konrad Raab: "I just as well want to forget it too."
The mention of him attacking his mother shook Konrad as Schneider wasn't lying, he had assaulted his mother in the past, mostly with the Black Ice mask as he holds it up to show Schneider and explains it while he shakes his head continuously, rapidly.
Konrad Raab: "This is the mask I attacked her with, and it's not just my mother who got attacked, my wife as well. My wife Fizz, she's terrified of getting anywhere near me at times because she's worried I'll explode and beat her because I accidentality leave the masks on. I've had to be on Rapid Eye Movement tablets to stop myself from attacking her in my sleep cos trust me, I've had a lot of violent dreams. I still get them now."
Doctor Schneider: "Yes, I'm aware. What the doctor didn't know is because you got mentally abused a lot when you were a kid. You're dad, he was an alcoholic, kept beating you because he knew you wouldn't fight back. He also was a psychopath as well. It was so bad that it caused you to have severe depression. You've tried multiple times as a teenager and in your current life to kill yourself over it."
Konrad Raab: "So you're saying that my anger, my severe depression and my multiple personalities came from my childhood trauma of my dad, continuously beating the living shit out of me and him being a psychopath?"
Doctor Schneider: "Yes."
It occurred to Konrad; he knew a lot more about his dad than he ever did in his past. Some of his personalities came from his dad with the drinking alcohol business and attacking people for no reason. Konrad couldn't hold himself to a point tears are pouring down on the table, feeling scared of himself.
Doctor Schneider: "I'm sorry, but I'm not a doctor who was going to hide the past from you anymore. You needed to know."
Konrad nodded, he did need to know about his past, but he shook his head as Schneider says this, trying to stop crying, but he couldn't deal with the fact his dad beat Konrad so severely.
Doctor Schneider: "There were times when I've had you in my room when you were a child and that you were saying things like, don't call me Konrad, call me the devil because I'm a horrible boy. Then forty-five minutes later, you forget everything you've said."
Konrad wipes the tears of his face, not believing how much his dad caused hell for Konrad when he was a kid. It took a long time for him to sink the thoughts in of his dad being a psychopath of hating Konrad a lot when he was a child. As he stopped crying, he stood up and held the black and dark blue mask again in his hands, and he says this.
Konrad Raab: "That's what I think with this Black Ice mask, only the voice is named Erik. He talks to me and tells me to do things I wouldn't usually do. I also say and do violent things as well. When I wear the mask, I have to get someone psychically to take it off from me. Then I forget what I've said and done until someone tells me."
Doctor Schneider: "That's because you got so badly abused mentally that it came out just like that to protect yourself, to go batshit insane because you didn't seek help for it. Erik has been talking to you for your whole life. You're dad, and Erik told you you're the devil, only now you changed it to The Black Ice. I also know you wear those masks in wrestling to help you to fight against people. It motivates you to wrestle because, without these masks, you can't fight or hit anyone."
There was still a lot to talk about, including Luca's friend, but Schneider hadn't even finished talking about the masks. He wasn't going to talk about the white and blue mask, that was Konrad with and without the mask one hundred per cent, except for the fighting part of things. The red, green and blue mask, that was to be talked about, especially Konrad didn't know much about it two months ago.
Doctor Schneider: "Now this red, green and blue mask, as the previous doctor said, it's teaching you to learn about having balance in your life as well as in wrestling too. Everyone in life has good and evil within them, and I know when the doctor who transferred the stuff to me, he wrote down you have trouble of accepting you can be evil."
Konrad Raab: "I do because I don't want to be."
Doctor Schneider: "That's because nobody has ever spoken to you about having a balance in life. These multiple personalities you have, it's how you function in life as well as in the ring. It will take you time to understand, and it seems like you have no clue about your DID."
Konrad Raab: "None at all and I wasn't even aware of me having it since I was a child. I don't know how to cope with it or what DID is."
Konrad was given a DID leaflet from Schneider which clearly what he needed, especially to show Fizz and even his kids when they grow up too. Of course, Schneider wasn't ready to talk about his kids part yet as it's still very new to Konrad due to him being diagnosed with DID two months ago along with today confirming Konrad had it since he was an eight-year-old boy.
Doctor Schneider: "As for the other problem you're currently having, at least Luca being locked up for life does settle things, and I confirm to you, he is the school bully who also beat you up a lot in the past, but what you don't know and you need answers to is his friend."
Konrad Raab: "I want to know who the other guy is cos right now, all I know from Luca, that bastard is he has a friend, living in the same area as I do and knows where I live. I don't have my kids at home right now as they are with Fizz's dad and I have to bring Fizz everywhere with me to wrestling locations because if I leave her at home, especially right now when she's pregnant, she and the baby can die."
Doctor Schneider: "In the past, your mother reported about the bullying you had at school, and she named Luca, but his other friend is named Drexel. I did some digging around, and I can confirm he's the one living in California, the same area and state as you. I know how close you were on being killed by Luca at a wrestling event."
Konrad Raab: "Yeah, and he said he's going to kill my wife and kids. Even said he'll rape Fizz and place bombs in my house. That's sick."
Doctor Schneider: "You also weren't wearing a mask to fight either from the notes here. I can't imagine how terrified you are and doing everything to make sure your family is safe, but Drexel is going to find out about your kids living with Fizz's dad and knowing the location of him. However, while I can't find a recent picture of him, maybe this picture of him as a teenager might help."
Schneider gives Konrad a picture of Drexel as a teenager as he couldn't even look at it as he wanted to put it straight in his pocket, but Konrad did take a close look as Konrad makes a fist on the table to know precisely at least what he roughly looks like. He places the picture in his pocket, and Konrad does have a question to ask.
Konrad Raab: "It's been on my mind ever since I got letters from Luca, but was he ever friends or had his parents associated with my dad?"
Doctor Schneider: "I hate to tell you, but yes, Luca's dad was close to your dad."
Konrad Raab: "This is bullshit."
Doctor Schneider: "I know it's hard to believe, but it's true."
Konrad continuously shakes his head, it was apparent he was never wanted or loved by his dad, the guy who was meant to protect Konrad, but Konrad seethes through the hatred his dad had on Konrad. If Konrad knew when his dad was alive, he would've done something, especially now.
Konrad Raab: "It showed why he never protected me or wanted to teach me how to fight because he wanted me to suffer and wanted me to die. How am I meant to cope with everything you've told me for my whole life?"
Doctor Schneider: "That's why we're going to continue having this support every week, onwards because from what I've told you, it's freaked you out on top of the other things we've discussed. We'll discuss your feelings of the situation, how you are with the masks on your face and the future of moving forward next week."
It was clear Schneider didn't have time as he was running way overdue the time and it was clear that right now, Konrad needed help, more than ever as he shook his head in shame, to know his dad tried to do everything to kill Konrad, to remove Konrad from his family. It made him so angry that he wasn't able to go straight home. With tears in his eyes on top of shaking because of his anger, while waiting to see someone to get his personal items and his clothes.
Konrad Raab: “What a piece of shit, if he was alive right now, I'll go and destroy him to a point my dad wouldn't ever get up from. I need to destroy something before I go home to Fizz as she can't ever see me like this.”
After Konrad got his things back and changed into his regular clothes, Konrad drove straight to a gym in California to let out all the anger he had about his dad with his gloves which he eventually did four hours later. He walked out of the gym, being so out of breath before he got in his car to go back home.
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A day after the announcement of receiving an SCW World title match. Anaheim, California. Thursday 29th August (Off-Camera)
It was a day after the title match announcement, and Konrad had been speechless, his body being completely frozen and tears willing up due to how happy he was as he not long just got home from being in Boston for the Breakdown show. He gives Fizz a massive hug and a kiss on her cheek as he tries to wipe the tears off from his face. He still wasn't able to bring himself to words, even with the smiles and the shock of someone wanting to face him for the SCW World title.
Fizz and Konrad go upstairs as it was ten at night and when they went in the bedroom, Konrad still couldn't bring himself to speak, knowing he's got the biggest match of his entire life coming up. He had been feeling like this on Monday, but this was a more extended silence as Fizz strokes Konrad's shoulder and said something.
Fizz Raab: "I'm so happy for you, getting a title shot. I got to admit; even I didn't see that coming from Alistaire."
Konrad Raab: "Me, either."
Fizz Raab: "Four years ago, you wouldn't even have thought you'd get an SCW World title shot or get anywhere near close to it. Now, you have. It's a great chance for you to shine and show the world how much you want to win. Imagine, you being SCW World Champion after all the odds being stacked against you. I can feel it."
Even now Fizz was in tears of joy for Konrad as Konrad kisses Fizz everywhere on her body before he relaxes, closing his eyes to imagine he's defeated Alistaire Allocco and win the SCW World title. Konrad got out of bed and spun himself all around before he got dizzy and he says this.
Konrad Raab: "Man, that was an awesome rollercoaster ride there."
It was down to how thrilled he was that he finally finds himself in a position to place himself in after four whole years of hard work. His eyes of sparkle say it all with tears pouring down on his eyes still as he wasn't able to believe it and took a long time for him to calm himself down and Fizz still sees his smile and sparkle in his eyes, although still being speechless.
Fizz Raab: "Although in saying that, I do feel, however, you should wear The Rainbow Ice mask. Do you know why? Because in matches like this, you need to be aggressive and you also can show Alistaire what you're made of. He picked you because he knows you won't break the rules or even ask for a title match. He knows you want to earn it and right now, that's what you need to think about."
Konrad Raab: "I have thought a lot about using The Rainbow Ice Mask, not because of letting my anger out, no there's gonna be no anger whatsoever when I face Alistaire when he wants to fight fair, but because of being aggressive. You're right; I need to be aggressive if I have any chance of winning the title. Alistaire will get a clean and fair fight out of me."
Fizz Raab: "Well, I'm glad we agree on something for once. We are all proud of you, heck when our children found out you were going for the World Title, they were so happy for you that they were in tears for you, especially Sebastian. Sebastian keeps asking how did you get a title shot and I said, Alistaire wanted to face Konrad for the title."
Konrad Raab: "Even Alistaire's request alone means a whole damn lot to me. I've never had the pleasure of anyone wanting to face me for a long time, well in a good way, of course. I've already moved on from the da.............."
Fizz Raab: "No, don't talk about that or the other thing. Not the right day for that. Your mind right now is on the title and winning it."
Konrad nods, although still in tears of joy, he laid there, having something on his mind while closing his eyes as he opens them with Fizz placing her arms around Konrad's body and Konrad comes out with what he was thinking.
Konrad Raab: "I won't lie, Fizz, this title match means the whole world to me, but I need to ask you something."
Fizz Raab: "What's that?"
Konrad Raab: "I want to train my ass off, twenty-four hours non-bloody stop. I want to be in the best shape I've ever been in my entire life, and I have to make sure I'm fully prepared for the match, so I want just for one day a week to not sleep, but do nothing, but work out. Please allow me to do that for one day."
Fizz widens her eyes and moves away from Konrad, not believing what he just said. Of course for sure, the match was significant, but that wasn't the correct way to do things, and she shook her head, standing her ground to say this, even with a touch of fear on her face.
Fizz Raab: "Absolutely not."
Konrad Raab: "Why?"
Fizz Raab: "Because you will kill yourself doing that. Do you remember the last time you trained in a gym for twenty-four hours? You were lucky to survive that. I'm not allowing you to risk your body and your health to kill yourself from training so hard. I know you want to, but I won't allow it."
It was understandable, Konrad was hospitalised last time he worked out non stop, although it was because of him not eating, it was apparent Fizz was standing her ground on that, and she sees Konrad sighing because he didn't want to go to the gym twice a week as he says this.
Konrad Raab: "I also do not want to go to the gym twice a week as I do now. I want to go every single day."
Fizz Raab: "Not every day for twenty-four hours you certainly won't because lack of sleep will kill you. You need to get plenty of sleep, plenty of food and plenty to drink too."
Konrad Raab: "But I want to be in the best shape of my life too. I might not ever get another chance like this, and I'm not allowing this opportunity to slip away from me. You know how serious I take title matches in terms of preparation. OK so if that doesn't work, what about I do six hours each day, two hours morning, two hours in the afternoon and two hours at night. Can we agree with that?"
Fizz Raab: "Yes, we can. I will allow you to train every single day, providing that you come home and not spending more than two hours each certain part of the day. Don't you even dare to break my promise and do twenty-four-hour gym work because I don't want you to scare the living shit out of me like that ever again. I know you need to prepare the best you can. I also will help you to get the best diet you possibly can for the match as well."
It was another thing Konrad had always been strict about, especially title matches was his diet. Of course, he still was trying to get over the trauma about his dad making Konrad suffer his whole life, but the title match distracted him big time as it wasn't even on his mind for today as he's so over the moon as he says this.
Konrad Raab: "Yes, my diet. I want to go on the cutting weight diet again. Nothing is going to get in the way of me being in my best psychical and mental shape of my life. I will also take time to do some colouring in as apart of my mental preparation as well as psychical. This match is no joke; this is something I must and will take seriously. I need to be completely focused and show Alistaire and everyone who doubts me what I can do in the ring."
Fizz Raab: "Indeed and you're going to win because you've got the biggest heart and passion for this sport. You're scary when you're so focused like you scared the hell out of me when you wanted to train for twenty-four hours non stop, I forget that it's because of your focus."
Konrad Raab: "Yes, sorry about that. It's who I am as a wrestler, and it's one of those situations I have to push myself a lot harder than I've ever pushed in my entire life. As you said, right now, I need to get plenty of sleep as I've done six hours of gym work today and will continue to, until Wednesday. I love you so much."
Fizz Raab: "I love you too, future SCW World Champion."
Konrad had a massive smile on his face when Fizz said he was a future world champion as she got up from her bed and turned the lights off along with the door being closed as although Konrad did want to go to sleep, Fizz had other ideas which Konrad went along with. They did lovemaking for an hour before Konrad heads straight off to sleep, while Fizz watches a bit of TV before she turns it off and falls asleep three hours later.
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The Iced Rainbow Konrad Raab side: The most important match of my life youtube.com shoot. (On-Camera)
"Wow, I'm shocked I'm in this position right now to get a title shot against Alistaire Allocco. All I can say right now is thank you, thank you for allowing me to prove myself I'm more than capable of being a World Champion here in SCW. I never thought four years ago, or even recently, I'd be standing here, receiving an opportunity of a lifetime.
I have nothing, but a tremendous amount of respect for you, Alistaire. You always want to do things within the rules without cheating. You know how much I'm a big fan of you doing so because nothing you've said was a lie. You've won Taking Hold Of The Flame Rumble which is not an easy task to do, on top of that, you defeated Syren for the SCW World title. I was over the moon when you beat the least passionate champion I've ever seen in SCW, but now, SCW has a proud champion that we all can root and support, including myself.
Now Alistaire, I know what you're thinking, why am I wearing the Rainbow Ice Mask. I will promise you one thing, I will keep my anger in control, you'll get the best prepared Konrad Raab you'll ever see, but there's one reason why I'm wearing this mask, aggression.
Being aggressive is the primary key for me to defeat you in the ring. People might call you out for being naïve, but there's nothing wrong with that. This opportunity you requested against me, means the whole fucking world to me. I was in tears of joy because I never been happier to get something like this. You will get Iced Rainbow fighting fairly and doing everything he can to beat you. I may get very aggressive in the match, but that's because I want to win so very badly.
You have no idea how much I've wanted to win this title, and I've not talked about it enough, but I do want to be on top of the ladder, I do want to be the top wrestler in SCW. I don't believe in the term best, but I believe I've learnt the one thing you seem to deny, having balance in life and the ring as well. Let's face it; it took me a long time to realise we all have good and evil sides to us, including yourself.
You damn right Alistaire, we're going to put a show on in front of these fans and the wrestlers in the back, even if I'm going to be way more aggressive because I know these opportunities don't come every single day and I promise you, we'll tear the house down, pushing ourselves to the extreme limits, more than I've ever had to before, especially I've been training six hours each day, and I've been eating certain foods to be in the best shape I can be in just to face you.
I've been on one heck of a roller-coaster ride this week, and it took me a long while to sink in how much this means to me. I will show you in the ring just precisely how much I'm willing to punish my body and myself in the ring with aggression to show you how badly I want to win and I believe in myself to say I can win because anything can happen in SCW and the time for The Iced Rainbow to make his mark on being a top wrestler in the company starts tomorrow.
Tomorrow night right here in Toronto, Canada, I will do everything to pin you in the ring with a pinfall, but all within the rules and fairly, exactly how you want it to go because I've been working for four years to get this far and once I hit my Ice Storm finisher, I won't waste time to pin you for the three count because I'm so bloody motivated to win and I won't stop until I've accomplished my goal.
Once I'm announced I'm the new SCW World Champion, I will go on my knees, kiss the belt and tears will come from my eyes because all of the hard work I've been doing in this ring for four years will be worth it and my aggression and passion will pay off. Alistaire Allocco, prepare to be Iceinated by the new SCW World Champion. Good luck, my respected competitor and may the top man win."